Finally changed my number...

[Aw511]

After 3 months of post relationship push pull I love you I hate you idealization devaluation contact no contact drunken harassment torture, I finally changed my number. I'm sad but I'm ready to move on. Our last contact which was via text, was cordial and provided me with a bit of closure (as much as I could have expected.) We are both relocating to different cities in the very near future and I realize our relationship is nothing more than an addiction at this point. As someone who has been chemically dependent in the past and recovered, I know that getting sober is extremely difficult, but if you can hang on and suffer through the horrible initial pain, in the end it's worth it and that's how I am looking at this situation. If I can just refrain from picking up the phone and calling him, one day at a time, eventually it will get easier, and the day will come when I will lay my head down at night and he will pop into my head and I will realize it's been days since I thought of him last. I never want to have to go through this again. Once is enough. Wish me luck on my quest for NC. You all provide me with a sense of hope that there is a light ahead and for that I am grateful.

[Kallor74]

Good for you Aw511. It's an ongoing process but you're doing the right thing for yourself and your sanity. Best of luck to you and know we are here for you!

[necchi]

 

[Aw511]

Thank you for the support kallor and marinro7. I don't know what I would have done if I never found these boards!