I do not know what peace is

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

In examining my own internal nonBD process, I recognize that I have not maintained supportive friendships and that my relationship with myself feels fractured.

Connections with others and myself were an obstacle to the availability expected by my bd symptoms partner as of 9 months.

He has been out of the country for 4 months.

We have had regular, routine-establishing  teleconferencing.

He went off the radar yesterday to take a spontaneous trip without sharing that information,

and I was so worried after 24 hrs of not knowing what to think.

I have tried to have my own life (as in "have a life", but it has been criticized as an obstacle, as I said.

I am working w a professional. The BD correlation came up just days ago,

and all behavior characteristics except for physically violent behavior are present... .

I am in a numb state after reading Family Guide to Walking on Eggshells in two days.

He is returning to the area next week.

I am trying to "wiggle my left toe" to get out of the paralyzed state,

like my hero Beatrix Kiddo did.

any wise perspectives from this fine group would be most welcome-

Thank you.

[ThelmaKiddo]

In examining my own internal nonBD process, I recognize that I have not maintained supportive friendships and that my relationship with myself feels fractured.

Connections with others and myself were an obstacle to the availability expected by my bd symptoms partner as of 9 months.

He has been out of the country for 4 months.

We have had regular, routine-establishing  teleconferencing.

He went off the radar yesterday to take a spontaneous trip without sharing that information,

and I was so worried after 24 hrs of not knowing what to think.

I have tried to have my own life (as in "have a life", but it has been criticized as an obstacle, as I said.

I am working w a professional. The BD correlation came up just days ago,

and all behavior characteristics except for physically violent behavior are present... .

I am in a numb state after reading Family Guide to Walking on Eggshells in two days.

He is returning to the area next week.

I am trying to "wiggle my left toe" to get out of the paralyzed state,

like my hero Beatrix Kiddo did.

any wise perspectives from this fine group would be most welcome-

Thank you.

[Surnia]

First of all 

here also from my side.

Great you found advise from your T and could even read "Walking on eggshells" 

Where to start - mmhh, perhaps keeping your own life, its so important - and being aware that he may feel very uncomfortable with it.

Validation is really a great tool. Communication using validation. What it is; how to do it

[ThelmaKiddo]

Thank you, Surnia - I just read this article and will be reflecting on it.