Any tips for dealing with emotional avoidance?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I tend to stay busy and avoid my emotions, avoid fixing my life, avoid facing myself. I've done this to some extent my whole life. But it got about a million times worse from this relationship. Any tips on accepting yourself, loving yourself and facing yourself? That are easy, eventually I'd like to meditate, but right now it's to big of a leap for me.

[BuildingFromScratch]

I tend to stay busy and avoid my emotions, avoid fixing my life, avoid facing myself. I've done this to some extent my whole life. But it got about a million times worse from this relationship. Any tips on accepting yourself, loving yourself and facing yourself? That are easy, eventually I'd like to meditate, but right now it's to big of a leap for me.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey SO, My suggestion is for you to listen to your gut feelings.  Try to do some thinking from the neck down.  From what you describe, you seem out of touch with yourself.  There is no good reason not to get back in touch.  Try to be aware of the "golden threads" when they arise, that is, the inklings that someone or something really interests or appeals to you.  When you come across a "golden thread," try pulling on it to see where it leads.  It's not hard once you try it!  Lucky Jim

[BuildingFromScratch]

Thanks for the advice. Yeah I think I'm too hard on myself for avoiding things and so I cause myself to avoid more things, . I will take your advice and touch myself. :P

[fromheeltoheal]

I've done that a bunch too; I call it running. If you run fast enough you can outrun your emotions, and it can work for a long, long time.  Like you, my relationship with my borderline ex was so painful that no amount of running worked, which is actually the good news; all the things I'd been running from for so long had to be faced and I'm better for it.

So here's an easy one: slow down. Simplify your life so you have a lot of down time, and use it to do nothing; tough for folks like us. Meditation doesn't have to be some heavy thing either: sit in a comfy chair and focus on your breathing.  That's it, no music, no TV, no other people, nothing, just you being. You can either try not to think, our just step back and watch your thoughts from a detached place, always going back to that calm centered place and your breathing when your mind wanders, which it will. Very difficult at first if you've never done it, but just a little is helpful, and it gets better and easier the more you do it. And one day someone will look at you and go "man, you look so relaxed and centered", because you will be.