How do you deal with social anxiety?

[Parents! Get help here!]

I was so sad for DD14 tonight watching her at her softball party, sitting at a table with the adults and barely interacting with any of her teammates.  She did talk with one girl for a few minutes, who initiated the conversation with DD, but that was about it for the entire evening.  My mom is in a nursing home and I have noticed that she relates very well to her and those older people who have problems.  She also really seems to enjoy being around younger children and babies and working and playing with them. Her therapist is aware of this and has been working with her for 2 years.  She is also on Prozac and Abilify for her anxiety and depression, but I am not sure what else to do to help her work through this.  I am sure its the main reason why she doesn't really enjoy school and am now pretty sure its the reason she chose to drop band and chorus and wants to give up softball (and she is exceptionally talented in those areas and has done very well when participating).  What has worked for you when dealing with social anxiety in your child?  Does group therapy help?  DD does not get that and I am wondering if it would be helpful?  Any advice is welcome!

[BioAdoptMom3]

I was so sad for DD14 tonight watching her at her softball party, sitting at a table with the adults and barely interacting with any of her teammates.  She did talk with one girl for a few minutes, who initiated the conversation with DD, but that was about it for the entire evening.  My mom is in a nursing home and I have noticed that she relates very well to her and those older people who have problems.  She also really seems to enjoy being around younger children and babies and working and playing with them. Her therapist is aware of this and has been working with her for 2 years.  She is also on Prozac and Abilify for her anxiety and depression, but I am not sure what else to do to help her work through this.  I am sure its the main reason why she doesn't really enjoy school and am now pretty sure its the reason she chose to drop band and chorus and wants to give up softball (and she is exceptionally talented in those areas and has done very well when participating).  What has worked for you when dealing with social anxiety in your child?  Does group therapy help?  DD does not get that and I am wondering if it would be helpful?  Any advice is welcome!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[PyneappleDays]

I find/ found this too with my DD (19 living on her own by her choosing) and when she was younger and now.  She is socially delayed. If I left it up to her; her mind would start talking gobably gook and her anxiety would kick in. While in school she considered the other kids in class or church too good for her. they are "goody goods" as she said.  Sort of like she wasn't good enough. There is no way in heck would I be able to get her into group therapy now or then.  She kind of worked around it in highschool to volunteered with younger kid in a program called CityKidz.  She was the bus councillor.  She did well.  She had to communicate with peers to work with the kids.  Kawanis has this too.  She didn't have the problem because she was distracted on what was best for the todaughterlers.  She has always got along with guys better then girls.  She says because girls cause drama.  I have always said if you don't like other girls it's because you don't like yourself.

Now a day She does have a couple of gf.  Birds of a feather kind of thing, meaning they have the same problem.  I still try to get her into things.  I hate that she sits around playing video games and TV.

If maybe you could look at the Kawanis ( Boys and Girls club) or work in a daycare or group activity it could help.

[twojaybirds]

I don't see my dd19 around her peers much but know that 2 of her favorite things are:

volunteering at a nursing home since she was about 12

working at a daycare

[jellibeans]

social anxiety is a big problem for my dd16... . she also likes to be around old people. She filled out a volunteer application a few months ago for an old age home but has never followed up. I think tomorrow is a good day for her to go by and say hello.

[Bracken]

My D26 has always had problems with her peers. She was bullied in elementary school, and shunned in high school.

She is obsessed with trying to be the kind of popular, conventional, commercially appealing girl that she never was - and never will be. Yet she can be very charming and attractive in her own, DIFFERENT way. But she will not accept that! So sad --- . She can't get past the social trauma of her adolescence -- . She also has horrifying problems with body image.

[MammaMia]

Yes, the infirmed elderly and the very young.  I believe they are favorites of pwBPD because they do not judge them like their peers do. 

The elderly are eager to have visitors and love to chat because they are often lonely, and they frequently have illnesses that affect their cognitive skills and logic.  Small children have vivid imaginations and love fantasy. They also like just about anyone who takes an interest in them or plays with them.  

PwBPD can relate and they feel accepted and able to be of help to these age groups.  There is much less social anxiety for them.

Some of my 39 yo dBPDs's best friends are in nursing homes or elderly with grown children his age.  Kids love him.

[js friend]

I wish I could help my dd19 with her S/A which ive noticed more since having gd.

I encourage her to do things... go out and about. enjoy her life.Even to do things together which she rarely takes up.

She avoids most public spaces. perfers to travel when the weather is bad because there will be less people on public transport, and will stay in for days at a time with gd without seeing anyone. 

Now she has dicovered online shopping to do her food shop she doesnt even leave the house to do that unless she is really desperate for something. I was hoping she would conquer her S/A with her college course, but that only lasted a few weeks and now she is back sitting around at home, just watching the tv most of the time as far as I know. Rarely has any visitors. Her phone is her lifeline. Funnily, she once said that she feels lonely without it 

The eldery and young are definatley less judgemental but dont think my dd could work with them as she finds it so hard to initate converstations or keep them going, and she also hates hearing about it when other people are ill.Lacks compassion in many ways and incrediably self serving.

Working for herself would be better as there has always been drama the few times she has worked in a team of people.