can't make sense of this

[stronger123]

Hello,

I've posted on here a few times now, I find with all your help out there who understands what I'm going through really does help me.

Update: yesterday (Christmas eve) I receive a txt from ex (h) a nice txt wishing me a very happy Christmas and new year and being repetitive as usual asking how I am, my mum, dad, and the pets are doing? But going back about one month ago he was demanding money off me to help him pay for his loan and that I got everything when we split up ( which isn't true!) and all he got was debt!

I guess in my mind right now I'm curious to why he is bothered to txt me and being nice? does anyone understand this, if so please give me some advice and I look forward to reading your stories.

thanks stronger123.

[fromheeltoheal]

BPD sufferers have an unstable sense of self, meaning who he thought he was a month ago is not who he thinks he is today. Plus you are either all good our all bad to a borderline, for a few reasons, and you can flop from one to the other for no apparent reason. A criteria for the disorder is unstable interpersonal relationships, and seems you can relate. BPD is a serious mental illness and trying to make sense of what's going on with him will drive you crazy at first, until you understand the disorder.

I'm sorry you're going through that. Please read the articles on this site; when I read them I felt like I was reading about her specifically and things started to make sense. The best thing you can do right now is take care of yourself, and Merry Christmas!

[mango_flower]

There is no making sense of some of it... .

Fromheeltoheal has summed it up well - their mindset shifts from day to day.  They seem to be able to compartmentalize very well, and he's probably focusing on the good right now - you may well be painted black again soon, and then white again... .because a lot of it is in their minds, not what we actually do!

Hope you're managing to have a nice Christmas. x

[stronger123]

Thank u for your replies and merry christmas to u all too.

The advice u have both given makes sense, I under stand hes not well but he thinks its everyone else and not him, even though he knows his dad has been diagnosed with schizophrenia amd bipola few years ago and is now on medication for it.

I am though, taking care of myself which I feel better for doing. Im in a new relationship now which is goinf really well to, but there is still so many unsolved questions and answers, im.yet to ask my h? Its 10months now since I left him and still I dont know where the hell.he ia living and still he hasnt shown his face to face me ! Its unbelievable really?