Holidays, boundaries and communication

[newlymarried]

Mom has been violent to DH in the past, but never towards me. She is also pregnant and should be close to hatching during mediation. I think that she doesn't really want kiddo, and she hasn't since kiddo was born. She threatened to terminate the pregnancy if my DH didn't take her back. Then kiddo couldn't breastfeed, so BM took it as a rejection and she never forgave kiddo for not breastfeeding. I believe that she is waiting for my DH to be the authority figure and take kiddo. She doesn't show up for most parenting time, and she pays no support. There is currently every other weekend from Sat at 9am-Sunday at 7pm and she can't do it and half school breaks and 6 weeks on the summer. She took 2 overnights for summer vacation. I don't think she can handle this, especially if she has a new baby.