Does your BPD have violent/intense dreams?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My uBPDwife would have frequent very intense and often very violent or gruesome dreams.

Anyone else have this experience?  Is this related to BPD or something completely different?

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

My uBPDwife would have frequent very intense and often very violent or gruesome dreams.

Anyone else have this experience?  Is this related to BPD or something completely different?

[santa]

Not sure about this one.

She was a nightmare for me sometimes when I was awake. Does that qualify? 

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

Almost, Santa, almost. Lol

Just curious about the dreams and if that meant anything.

[MrFox]

My BPDmother has trouble sleeping through the night.  My exBPDgf also had trouble sleeping for more than a few hours without waking up, sometimes she would wake up in a very worked up state, crying, panic attacks, etc.  My theory is that it most likely comes from two things.  1. The trauma from long ago that they never dealt with.  2. With their defenses down, their subconscious starts to bring up all the horrible crap that they have done to others in their lives.

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

Great Points Mr. Fox.

My wife also would have trouble sleeping. And would say she had frequent racing thoughts when trying to fall asleep.

[MrFox]

I know my mother has those racing thoughts when trying to sleep.  My ex went to sleep pretty easy, but she usually drank before bed, so that probably helped.

[Learning_curve74]

My pwBPD has awful nightmares, I've heard her talking in her sleep. She also has problems trying to shut down enough to go to sleep and often wakes up. She will use alcohol to knock herself out, it's one of her unhealthy coping habits.

I believe she suffered childhood abuse as well as rape. She's been diagnosed with BPD and probably has PTSD as well.

[fiddlestix]

My BPD ex wife often had vivid, intense dreams.  She would scream and holler in her sleep.  The dreams often had snakes or zombies.  She is irrationally afraid of snakes, and has always been fascinated by zombie movies.  She has also long been interested in serial killers and how their minds work.  Earlier in our marriage she would have dreams that I cheated on her (I never did). She would awake mad at me, and I would have to comfort and reassure her.  Interesting topic... .

Fiddlestix

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

Earlier in our marriage she would have dreams that I cheated on her (I never did). She would awake mad at me, and I would have to comfort and reassure her.  Interesting topic... .

Fiddlestix

That's interesting... . my wife would also have dreams where I was mean to her or cheated or did something... . and in the waking world she'd be bothered by it and upset like I really had done something.  Uh... . it's just a dream!

That's very interesting how several people have identified that their BPD significant other has intense and violent dreams.  I rarely if ever have a "bad dream" of any kind so it was always so foreign to me that she would have repeated intense, vivid, and violent ones.  Oh, and she often had very very sexual dreams too.  With all kinds of different people.

[MrFox]

Earlier in our marriage she would have dreams that I cheated on her (I never did). She would awake mad at me, and I would have to comfort and reassure her.  Interesting topic... .

My exBPDgf had dreams of me cheating on her as well.  I think that she was afraid because she had cheated on everyone she has ever been with (including me) that she was sure others would cheat on her.

[Tincup]

my UexBPDgf had very intense and vivid dreams.  She often would talk about them because she always remembered them.  She would say that she dreams in vivid color (everything about the dream was in color), and she could even recall how things smelled in her dreams.  I don't ever remember a dream myself where I could remember smells.  She was telling me about a dream with someone chasing her, and she could remembered the smell of the person as the chase was starting. 

She would also twitch and jerk a lot when she slept.  Another side note is she always would rock back and forth like a baby when she was falling asleep (not important for anything but I am never seen this before).

[Naddred369]

My ex had awful dreams/ nightmares most nights.

She wouldnt tell me what they were about except when she dreamt I was cheating then she would wake and rage at me.

I suppose when you bury the crap in your life and refuse to deal with it your subconious mind will force you to feel it.

Hope shes having f@&cking nightmares now after what she did to me. Try burying that you moron!


Blessings.

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

Wow.  This is so interesting.  I'm glad I brought up this topic.  The pieces are so similar to all our stories.

Everyone, thank you so much for welcoming me to this site and sharing.  I can honestly say this has helped me feel better.  It truly has.

[Kallor74]

Mine had dreams of running. Always being chased and running away.  How ironic.  She also had this preoccupation with Dexter and serial killers.   

[cureandcause]

Hey Seek,

(don't know why but especially your topics resonate with me) 

My UxBPDgf also had dreams of my cheating on her or/and leaving her. She never went into to much detail here.

More detail I received about her dreams of assault; promiscuity; gang rape; being put into abusive situations by other men, of course.

Yes, we all have anecdotal evidence. I am not sure if this can be called a pattern though.

I remember her best girl friend at the time teasing me to check out her browser history (like 2 weeks into the relationship) - predominately topics about "forced orgasms".

So whatever, we share. But I have concluded after researching on sexual topics over the years, that also any healthy persons can have these fantasies too. We should not conclude on anything, just because. 

[cureandcause]

She would also twitch and jerk a lot when she slept.  Another side note is she always would rock back and forth like a baby when she was falling asleep (not important for anything but I am never seen this before).

Hey Tincup, my UxBPDgf also twitches and jerks especially *falling a sleep* not during. This is a normal human occurrence, you can also watch documentaries on this. She would even wake up in shock because she felt "like falling". I also hat the "falling" experiences a couple of times in my life.

Side note, my ex ex GF, who is the most sacred person I have met in my life, a true healthy and "perfect" specimen of female existence also "rocked back and forth" to sooth her falling asleep. It is just something people take on at young age because it started to calm them and then habitually continue up to adulthood (my ex ex is 38 now). I even started rocking back and forth spooning here back then, because ... yeah it is actually enjoyable soothing for me to. I do it from time to time now, that I experienced it for the first time in my life 4 years back. 

Love,

[Mazda]

Oh drinking to sleep, smoking weed to relax, can only cry after drinking.  How could I have been so stupid?

[Findingmysong723]

My Ex told me he had issues with Sleep paralysis, which is "a phenomenon in which people, either when falling asleep or wakening, temporarily experience an inability to move. More formally, it is a transition state between wakefulness and rest characterized by complete muscle atonia (muscle weakness)."  Sleep paralysis has been linked to anxiety disorders among other things, and my Ex had major anxiety.

He also told me sorta early on in our relationship that he had a dream that I was supposed to meet him somewhere and I didn't show up and I think he said he found out I was with another guy. I guess he was telling me to see my reaction, I don't even remember what my reaction was anymore. However, it seems most of our exes worried we would leave them early on and it played out in their dreams.

Before my Ex and I started dating he liked to sleep on the couch, he said his bed made him feel lonely with just him. However, he fell asleep on the couch with me on the other side and me in the bed alone throughout the ups and down of our relationship! My Ex had major trouble sleeping though, when things seemed to do be going well with us, we would go to bed together late but not too late. It was nice, I would start falling asleep on the couch and he would get my attention and we would collect our pillows and blankets from the couch and go to bed. Other times, he would wake up and couldn't go back to sleep so he would watch TV or video games and either eventually fall asleep or just get up and start the day. I was so tired when I was him, his sleeping was so off so much and also he liked to sleep on the couch and I wanted to be near him, so I would sleep out there with him, which would make my back hurt the next day. I remember him getting upset that every time he have a movie he wanted to share with me I would fall asleep on it, it's true I did a lot but I couldn't help it because his insomnia had an affect on me.