Personal discovery regarding family

[Knowingishalf]

I have been here for a long time regarding my stbxw and the awful time I had when I was with her and all the atrocities of raising a child with her.  Now I have moved back in with my family and some of the discoveries here have opened my eyes. 

Number one my mother is worse than my wife ever could be, and is horrible to my father.  Perhaps he is stronger than I am I don't know how he lasted this long.  I have even told him this that the rest of the kids didn't see their marriage lasting even this long after we finished high school and we are all still really surprised they are together now.  This leads to the next personal discovery.  I married my mother. There I said it my wife and my mother are too similar to discount this. This is a disgusting fact one that disturbs me to the core.  I guess I was trying to correct some of the horrible things that happened to me in my childhood(read physical and emotional abuse/neglect).  Ugh worst part is I am here dealing with her now in the place I used to escape the other abuse of my marriage.  I am much better at ignoring my mother though, it is easy since she never gets off the couch. 

I would also like to add my brother is also most likely BPD as well.  He is more narcissistic but engages in risky behaviors and listens to no one, since he is always right.  DUIs, and drug use. It is every where in this family and here I am just trying to stay afloat in this crazy place.   

[Changingman]

Yes this is it really, my family are so disfunctional my RS withxGF is crazy, but within the bounds of normalicy in my FOO.

[P.F.Change]

  Hi, Knowingishalf! Welcome to the healing board.

This leads to the next personal discovery.  I married my mother.

This is very, very common. Most people gravitate toward partners who are like their parents. It's a pretty normal occurrence. It can be a shock to start noticing dysfunctional patterns in our FOO, though, so I can understand why you are feeling disturbed. You are not alone; many of our members have stumbled over to the Healing board after going through a rough relationship with an SO.

The good news is, awareness helps us find a healing path, and we do have tools that can help you. On the right side of the page, you will see the Survivor's Guide. You can click on each stage for a more detailed description. Sometimes the breakthrough crisis can feel quite jolting. How are you feeling about the  you are experiencing? Do you currently have a therapist you can go to for support?

In the meantime, while you are staying with your parents, being mindful of your boundaries and using tools like SET to communicate can help you. Are you already familiar with these from your time on our other boards?

Wishing you peace,

PF