I'm free and HAPPY

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

For my long backstory, I have a couple of threads on the board that gives a good view of all the craziness I dealt with for three years.


I officially broke things off with my BPDexgf on Sept 21 after she cursed me out for my birthday. I successfully went NC for exactly one month with intermittent texts here and there and a phone conversation or two. Nothing too deep but she did mostly keep the phone conversation limited to updating me on her daughters which I really appreciated. After that, I did not communicate with her again for one more month near the Thanksgiving holidays when she randomly started calling and texting frantically one night which I suspect was only because I went public with my new relationship on FB and she was told about it (her jailed brother is still my FB friend). After I did not answer the phone, she texted like she was just checking to make sure I was ok. I texted back that I was fine and that I was cooking, and she immediately called right back. I did not answer and I have not heard from her since.

My new relationship is amazing and it feels weird but SO GOOD to be with a "normal" person. My new love is someone I have known of for two years but we did not meet until I decided I was absolutely done with my BPDexgf that day in September. We have talked in depth about what I have been through and a few challenges I will face with trust, but from the beginning she began showing me that I have no need to worry with her because everything is so transparent with her - the total opposite of my BPDexgf. I mean EVERYTHING is legit and checks out with this woman but of course I have my moments sometimes where I am wary of things because of the place I am coming from. She is totally understanding of that but I am thankful that those moments are few and far between.

I'm grateful this woman has been brought into my life. Everything is just easy with her and I am looking forward to being healed from my past very soon.

[xPaintedBlackx]

For my long backstory, I have a couple of threads on the board that gives a good view of all the craziness I dealt with for three years.


I officially broke things off with my BPDexgf on Sept 21 after she cursed me out for my birthday. I successfully went NC for exactly one month with intermittent texts here and there and a phone conversation or two. Nothing too deep but she did mostly keep the phone conversation limited to updating me on her daughters which I really appreciated. After that, I did not communicate with her again for one more month near the Thanksgiving holidays when she randomly started calling and texting frantically one night which I suspect was only because I went public with my new relationship on FB and she was told about it (her jailed brother is still my FB friend). After I did not answer the phone, she texted like she was just checking to make sure I was ok. I texted back that I was fine and that I was cooking, and she immediately called right back. I did not answer and I have not heard from her since.

My new relationship is amazing and it feels weird but SO GOOD to be with a "normal" person. My new love is someone I have known of for two years but we did not meet until I decided I was absolutely done with my BPDexgf that day in September. We have talked in depth about what I have been through and a few challenges I will face with trust, but from the beginning she began showing me that I have no need to worry with her because everything is so transparent with her - the total opposite of my BPDexgf. I mean EVERYTHING is legit and checks out with this woman but of course I have my moments sometimes where I am wary of things because of the place I am coming from. She is totally understanding of that but I am thankful that those moments are few and far between.

I'm grateful this woman has been brought into my life. Everything is just easy with her and I am looking forward to being healed from my past very soon.

[Findingmysong723]

Happy to hear about your healthy and happy new relationship! Looking forward to having one in the future as well!

[Surnia]

We love good news too.   

I am glad you found your way out and to a new and completely different rs!

[xPaintedBlackx]

Thank you both.

I did go to a few counseling sessions and thought a lot about what I was allowing to happen and what shouldn't have been during those three years of madness. I can tell that she is taking (or has taken) the guy she left me for through the same, so there is a lot of solace in knowing that it wasn't all me and that she's just very, very ill. I feel sorry for her at times, but this is what she chooses to do because it's easy instead of seeking the help that she needs.

I pray for her and I pray for all of you all's strength in realizing that you do no deserve this and once you finally let go, the possibilities are endless. It took a symbolic message (a little red balloon that reads "Let It Go" under it) for me to finally snap out of it and not be recycled.