How did your holidays go?

[Parents! Get help here!]

I thought I would start a thread where we could just narrate our holiday experiences without any expecctations of feedback.

So it's Christmas eve.  So far this week my 19 dd has

had 2 jobs and (2 more that never happened) and the first 2 seemed to have disappeared from what I can tell.

Has a new boyfriend who always is driving her car leaving her without one.

Told me she has withdrawn from school (but told others she is going back)

Will be with us Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

OOPS change of plans  with us Christmas Day only

OOPS another change will be with us only Christmas Eve

OOPs another change won't be back till January sometime

OOPS  going to Paris probably (we are on the Pacific coast of the USA)

OH NO going to stay at the YWCA women's shelter

WOW will be here Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

I'm exhausted trying to ignore it all and pray that there is no explosion as there was last year.

[twojaybirds]

I thought I would start a thread where we could just narrate our holiday experiences without any expecctations of feedback.

So it's Christmas eve.  So far this week my 19 dd has

had 2 jobs and (2 more that never happened) and the first 2 seemed to have disappeared from what I can tell.

Has a new boyfriend who always is driving her car leaving her without one.

Told me she has withdrawn from school (but told others she is going back)

Will be with us Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

OOPS change of plans  with us Christmas Day only

OOPS another change will be with us only Christmas Eve

OOPs another change won't be back till January sometime

OOPS  going to Paris probably (we are on the Pacific coast of the USA)

OH NO going to stay at the YWCA women's shelter

WOW will be here Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

I'm exhausted trying to ignore it all and pray that there is no explosion as there was last year.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[PyneappleDays]

From the BPD daughter quiet.  from my family so far so good.

[Bracken]

Hi Twojaybirds

Thanks for inviting us to share our "Holiday Cheer" here 

I TOTALLY understand what it is like to deal with constant changes of plan (and mood).

D is (Hurray!) in another city visiting her BF and his family. I spent much of the last few days helping her find (and paying for) Christmas gifts for all of them. They had to be local, quality, thoughtful  gifts. She spent hours painting a card for BF.

We paid D`s plane fare, bought her a lot of new clothes, and also paid half of her vacation in Mexico next week. (BF has offered to pay the other half.) D is a student - lots of debt and no income.

This morning, D didn`t even say `Merry Christmas`; focussed on hair and makeup. No gift or card for us.  H drove D to the airport this morning. I was glad not to go. She blew up at me yesterday, as were walking in a favorite park. A lot of other people there - terribly embarrassing - but D didn`t care that she was yelling and swearing in that festive public scene. She had been fine for a couple of hours -- then BOOM!  The `reason`` for her rage was that she hadn`t heard from a friend she was hoping to visit. She blamed me and H, because we couldn`t give her $3000 to go to this friend`s destination wedding in Feb. D claimed that I ``sabotaged`` all her relationships. 

Then, as she says EVERY year: ``This is the worst Christmas ever!`` We have had only one Christmas in the last 12, that included no raging or extreme depression from D.

An hour after D`s tirade, the friend sent a very positive email. But no apology to me. D spent yesterday evening texting, Facebooking to BF and friends.  H and I hardly exist in her mind - except to do things for her, pay for things - and be scapegoats when she is upset.

Thank God for dear old friends of ours - whom we will be sharing Christmas dinner with,  later today. God bless -

[MammaMia]

Oh yeah... .Christmas.  Took gifts to my BPDs yesterday along with lots of yummy baked goodies.  When I wished him Merry Christmas his reply was "whatever... .".

I asked if he would like to go out for dinner and to the candlelight service at church like we did last year.  His reply was "You are the last person I want to be with on Christmas Eve".  Okaaaaayyyyy... .

He went on to bemoan the fact he has "no family".  He is alienated from his sister and the rest of our relatives are all over the country.  His father died last year. I do not count. He says we are all such aholes that he cannot stand to be around us.  He seems to have forgotten that he is the one who has banished his sister and her family from his life.  NOT the other way around.

I had a lovely prime rib dinner with my daughter and her family today.  If asked my BPDs would have refused to go, and tried to make me feel guilty, so I did not mention it.  We had a nice, relaxing afternoon.

His pity party yesterday was really bad, but not unexpected.   It is the same story every year.   He is the victim of a terrible family and he deserves better.  I did not correct his view of the family or argue with him.  After his tirade, I just wished him Merry Christmas, told him I love him, and left.

Oh, how I wish things could be different, but they are what they are.  

[peaceplease]

I am glad that it is all over!  My dd  offered to help my sister wrap her presents.  My sister had to work a whole day, yesterday.  My sister messaged my dd Mon. evening to ask her if she wanted to start wrapping.  My dd said that if she stuck post it notes on all the gifts, that my dd would wrap them yesterday.

My dd was hyperfocused on her gift wrapping. She spent way too much time on it.

My dd spent too much time wrapping my grandson's presents.  I went over to help her, and I could not stand the walking on eggshells.  I told her that I was going to my sister's house.  It was her choice to go over the top with wrapping, and I was going to enjoy my day.

I left her, and she called me several hours later.  Meanwhile, I picked up my gs from his dad's and took him with me.  He did not open his gifts from Santa until this evening. 

My dd was miserable and tired from lack of sleep.  Lost sleep due to wrapping all the presents.

DD was miserable and blamed my dd for wanting her to wrap all her presents.  Actually, my dd wasted all day Monday giving herself a pedicure. She could have accomplished much wrapping then.

The best part of my day was the peace at Christmas mass.  The older I get, I believe that people just carried away with Christmas gifts.  Spending money they don't really have.  It makes the  holiday so stressful. 

All in all it wasn't too bad.  I left my dd  with her ocd wrapping, and I enjoyed my day.

[mom59]

My Christmas was peaceful with my family minus 33 y/o BPDD. She had not spoke to us all year until three days ago but immediately wanted money because she lost her money on train etc... .I had no money to give her and things went down hill with her raging and threatening us. She stormed out of house and I know she spent Christmas alone but she needs to be accountable for her actions. She just cant come into our house demanding money and not accept "No" with threatening us physically. So it will be quiet for a bit and she will splice this out of her memory as usual and try again with us in a few weeks or months. I used to be upset and try calling her but decided that is not good for me or her. She needs to take ownership for her behavior and actions.

[LittleThings]

DD w/BPD worked Christmas eve.

Our family plan was to go to a movie and then go out for Chinese food. It's become a tradition.

She texted from work that she may not make it and we should go without her. I asked what was up and she said she was going to shop for a gift for a friend's birthday.

I told her we would meet her at the mall where she works and go together to the movies, which we did.  When we got there she said she was too tired to shop and was having coffee and a cookie at Starbucks. 

That morning, before she went to work, my husband was fixing the 2nd flat tire she's had in a few months , and told me the car smelled like pot.

I found a bong, a "smoke buddy"(thing to blow smoke into so it doesn't waft into the room), and a rolled up sock with an empty pot baggie in it in her room. We'd told her a few months back when we found she'd been smoking it, "No weed!"

She has bought more stuff for herself (including pot, etc.) than for anyone else this Christmas season, borrowed money from me and her Gpa after an anxiety attack about a mix up with her paycheck. Was freaking out because she needed to get a present for a gift swap. I now realize she was manipulating us, and that she blew money and that's why she was broke.

Christmas eve and Christmas morning found me trying hard to be festive while holding the thought that my husband and I will have to address the drug (and $) issue in the next day or 2.

Daughter went up to her room after being very nice all morning, closed her door and took a nap. I had to wake her up when her Gpa came., and then my brother, sister in law, cousins came. We had a delicious dinner and fun conversation. That felt really nice!

Later after everyone left, my husband and I hashed over how to handle the current situation, which made us both a bit peevish.

[suchsadness]

My BPD 36DD and I have been on low contact since October. She actually helped me put together a family calendar for Christmas, and I in return helped her buy her two sons some Christmas gifts. I did not send her money, I ordered them online and had them set for pick up in her city, which she did. She is out-of-state and I had sent a package with gifts for her and her boys. I know that she had gotten them a few days ago and she did acknowledge that the package came.  Her grandma sent a Christmas letter and some money to her in my package as well. I didn't hear anything on Christmas eve and on Christmas Day I sent a text wishing her a Merry Christmas and said I hope her and her boys have a happy day.  She is still homeless and I have also heard that she doesn't even have a job at this point.  She tells me nothing about her situation! I did send a credit card with money on it for her, as I know that she is financially in a bad place.  I had not heard anything from her on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day until last night when she sent a text message and all she said is "I do not like grandma's letter one bit."  That was it... .no acknowledgment of the gifts for her or the boys and of course absolutely no indication of "thanks" at all.  And so, like many of us say, it is what it is.

[hopeangel]

Hi Folks! Happy Boxing day!  

Mine went like this:-

Xmas eve I spent all day cleaning, decorating, shopping, cooking for our little annual xmas eve get together!

H went to get dd and stepson23 (who's mum died of cancer and I am his mummy now really!) they live near each other about 40 mins away so I cooked up a storm, decorated house, set xmasy scene while he was gone.  

They came in, enjoyed food and drinks and settled to watch 'finding nemo'  this film triggered dd as it reminded her of real dad's abandonment so she suddenly announced she HATED real dad and will kill him, then she decided she HATED me as I thought I was great, tried to validate, empathise, show compassion, you name it but she demanded dh take her home which he did!  Another 1.5 hr round trip later, whilst myself, ss and real son were biting our nails wondering how they were, he appeared back with her, she had decided she was sorry and wished to come back as he arrived at her flat!

I had a chat with her about adult communication about negative feelings and talking to loved ones  instead of over reacting and leaving which she wholeheartedly agreed with then within seconds started raging at me for apparently 'scratching my face' or something (she keeps saying I do this and she hates it, but I am completely unaware of doing it and have told her its her issue and I don't know if I do it therefore she must own this issue, not me, she has agreed to this!) anyway she screamed at me 'I have TOLD you not to scratch your face and unfortunately I lost it a little and shouted 'I have TOLD you its YOUR issue' so H had to take her back again!

H was on the road ALL eve, talking her down,and myself and my sons were left reeling after each episode and couldnt enjoy any part of our evening! Apparently she said that the money we had spent on xmas should have been spent on her!

H persuaded her to still be ready for xmas day and said she must show us all respect or we would not have her round.  She agreed.

Xmas day, after a sleepless night wondering if we would get through xmas day, she apologised to dh and then to me, I said if you have any negative feelings towards any of us would you go out to my car and cool off then come back and join in when you are ready because we all deserve a happy xmas!  She agreed, and was good as gold!  Phew!

She now feels shame and remorse!

Me, Im just glad its over for another year!  Happy Boxing Day everyone! xx

[twojaybirds]

By Christmas eve 19 dd was besides herself.

A black tie party to go to with a future NBA star (REALLY LOL) but no shoes to wear

a midnight movie

a gift arriving from an ex-boyfriend

a best friend coming to get her.

Needless to stay she stayed home texting and complaining.  None of the above happened.

Up at 5:30 am taking a shower and dressing for church at 8:00 to sing in the choir

then at 7:30 in tears saying she was not going to chuch... and got back into sweats.


Then it was my fault she couldn't go to Paris on Monday (LOL)  besides the fact she has no passport (and I am sure no ticket)

By 1:00pm after being ecstatic to sad to tears to crying to laughing she was on the street waiting for her bfriend to pick her up in HER car... .go figure.

By 5pm still no ride so she went to a nursing home to volunteer  (my good friend works there and let me know she showed up)

2am there were 2 phone calls from her which I missed because I turned my phone off

She did leak out that she had lost both her jobs as well  (I had a feeling it was so)  so she has no money either.

[psychik]

 

We lived through it. Much talk between my hubby and I about "that website that seems to be helping so much."  Thank goodness for this website that IS helping so much.  A week ago sent her a text asking for her address to send card, she texted back only the address.  Sent the card, no response.  Yesterday, left her alone.  She left us alone.  Chanted to myself that I was not a failure and I was not the only mother who's kid was not talking to her on Christmas. 

So glad its over and looking forward to happier times. Crossing fingers for happier New Year for all.

 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Calm Waters]

a bedroom door was smashed to pieces, much shouting and rage, very many expletives and abuse, its calmer now

[PaulaJeanne]

MY BPD dd20 has avoided all family gatherings the last few years. She lost her server job last month after storming out and feels like the black sheep in a family of lawyers, teachers, etc. She's back with her BF after a short break, with the understanding between them that if they fight, they're breaking up for good--which will send her (and me) back into BPD hell. They live in a basement apt in my house. So Christmas Eve she started picking fights with him. Then she tells me that if any of our relatives pressure her about how she needs to be in college, she's walking out.

I started thinking about what this website has taught me & realized she was trying to create a catastrophe with her BF so that she could avoid her bad feelings about herself. So I pulled her aside to talk to her about why she was fighting with BF. She's been reading a book on dealing with BPD, so we talked for a while about Wise Mind.

I guess she really thought about, because they stopped fighting, & they both ended up going to my sister in law's house, which is alcohol-free, and she ended up having a good time singing Christmas carols like when she was a little kid.

Bullet dodged!   

[Dee Dee]

My 18 BPD daughter has been surprisingly good over the break although I do feel depleted on every level myself I worked up until Christmas Eve only five of us for Christmas lunch but was beautiful my son flew over and father and first husband i was very stressed but managed sometimes i feel so alone as though no one really understands - so good to have this site.dd wants to visit psychiatrist at private clinic on Monday regular psychiatrist is away I said that would be fine as long as I could come costs $330 she said I'm 18 now I explained to her I had booked appointment at local psychiatrist who bulk billed she says she wants antidepressants and/or something for anxiety I already discussed this with her psychiatrist before he left and hr prescribed instant 25 mg seroquil which she can take up to 6 per day she says it puts on weight she is currently on 300mgs slow release seroquil and 100 mgs lamictal the lamictal is expensive $50 she is also detoxing of Valium just need to be great full for a normal Christmas It is usually just her and I here I find with company her behaviour is much more tolerable she now wants to go down the coast and see her half sister bad news has BPD and drug issues bad role model but decision is up to her  thank you so much for the educative nature of this board I am learning so much  

[Verbena]

I restrained myself from saying anything about the fact that DD didin't roll out of bed Christmas morning until after 11, even though we had discussed how her 83-year old grandmother did too much and needed all hands on deck for the meal preparation.  My mother asked me several times if DD was going to get up for our meal planned for 12:30, but I avoided answering and was certainly not going to attempt to get her up.  :)D's husband knew better than to try to get her up any sooner, but eventually I think he did say something and she got up and was in a good mood.  (This was an improvement from Thanksgiving when she did not get up until about 12:30, even though she apologized for sleeping until 11:00.)  

DD spent about an hour and half putting on makeup and getting dressed and joined us in time to eat around 12:30 Christmas Day. She told me later she did not want me to be disappointed in her for getting up so late because she was going to help with the clean up.  I ignored this comment.  :)D did help quite a bit with the clean up.

My mother cracked a rib after we all left Thanksgiving  when she fell trying to get to a top closet shelf to put away some bedding.  We all discussed that in the future all beds needed to be stripped, sheets washed, beds re-made, and blankets/quilts put away before we left gm's house.  

DD agreed that this needed to be done and that she and her husband wouldn't dream of not doing this chore themselves.  :)D's husband stripped the sheets from their bed before he started a project installing some grab bars in my mother's shower, and I washed and dried the sheets myself as DD was busy applying makeup for about an hour.  As I was making the bed back up with the clean sheets (my sister was helping me), DD came into the bedroom and said she had already stripped the bed and washed/dried the sheets herself and was about to put them back on.  I ignored this lie and said nothing.

Several times while we were all visiting, DD interrupted people who were trying to tell stories to the point that they could barely speak.  They would start a sentence and DD would try to finish it for them.  It was embarrassing and I wanted to say, "Can you just shut up and let them talk?" but I ignored it and said nothing.  

All in all, though, it was very good.   DD and her husband  followed us in their car for the 4.5 hour trip back home from Mother's, and we stopped once to shop for some dishes and once at a burger place.  We had some good quality time both at my mother's house with other family members and today on our trip back.  

[Calm Waters]

my son smashed his bedroom door to pieces in a fit of rage and has now admitted to self harming and agoraphobia - whatever next, only just coping!

[starshine]

Well, uPDd19 (who is in the military) asked me to drive the 5 hour round trip on Wednesday to pick her up from the airport.  That was great, getting to meet her fiance (they've known each other for months, having met at A-school).  Dropped her off at uASPD/NPD/BPDexh (don't forget the stepmom with the eating disorder) house, and everything changed.  Although she was only home for 6 days, and started out by saying she wanted to see me everyday, that quickly changed.  I saw ud19 and fiance the next night when I took them out to dinner and a show.  Didn't see them Friday.  Spent the next 2 days visiting with my parents. while listening to ud19 complain about having to go see them- why couldn't they drive all the way across the state to see her?  If conversation wasn't about her or someone she knew, she would leave the room and go nap or watch cartoons.  Charming.  Didn't see her Monday.  Tuesday she and fiance came over for 90 minutes for a gift exchange, but she had to get back to her dad's house, as her stepmom's stepdad was coming over to exchange gifts.  Didn't see her on Christmas, she responded to an earlier text around 9pm at night.  And then I got to make the 5 hour round trip back to the airport. As soon as we left her dad's house, the step mom is calling and texting, and ud19 is calling her "mom".   I should feel grateful that I got a couple of hugs, I know.  (gag).  I also have a non18s.  He blew me off over the holidays too, wanting to spend time with his sis and fiance.  He is encouraged to do so- his father has engaged in parental alienation techniques for over a decade now. 

[qcarolr]

 Chanted to myself that I was not a failure and I was not the only mother who's kid was not talking to her on Christmas.  

Affirmation:  I am a good person worthy of love.

Affirmation:  I am the best I can be in my relationships today.

Affirmation:  I accept that my child is doing the best that she can today, and she can do better tomorrow.

I find it is possible to translate negative language into positive language when I take the time to take care of myself in this way.

qcr

[qcarolr]

Christmas was good for me. DD asked to spend time with us, and esp. with her daughter, gd8.

Dh chose to go to worship with gd and I. His first visit to the church gd and I belong to. He came straight from work.

We had very nice dinner and evening with neighbors at our house Christmas Eve. They have no family nearby. Gd got to choose one gift to open. Original plan was to meet BPDDD27 after church for dinner. So glad I shifted that plan for Christmas morning.

Dh, gd and I exchanged gifts Christmas morning. Then drove to city to meet DD. Had nice breakfast then a walk on the outdoor downtown mall window shopping. So nice that everything was closed - too pricey for my budget and gd enjoyed just looking. DD invited a friend to walk with us - he and dh talked and talked. Felt like DD was picking at all of us about every little comment, kept my inner critic where she belonged inside my head. Breathed a sincere smile on my face.

Dd's doggie came home with us for 'playdate' with our dog overnight.

Spent the afternoon with dh's family. Gd really enjoyed playing with 2nd cousins on their trampoline. Think we need one of those in our backyard for all her high energy.

Will carry these good memories with me over the bumps in the road to come.

qcr

[co.jo]

Mine was good with all my family except BPDD on the other side of the country and not speaking to me. Left me with an underlying feeling of sadness the whole time. Kept hoping she would contact me on Christmas day, but no. Sent her the normal gifts, which cost $150 to mail since I left it too late for regular delivery, and didn't want them to be late. She did text her little sister, and seemed to have liked the gifts.I think she is doing well, as far as I can tell. Sure miss her, which is ironic when I think of all the times I just wished she would go away so we could have our lives back.

[Someday . . .]

Well . . it could have been worse!  So I am grateful for the way it did turn out.  My dd25 has a difficult time with the holidays.  I feel that it has to do with the other people having jobs, relationships, going places, doing things etc. . .and my daughter is unable to have a job, unable to go places (anxiety) etc.   My daughters plan was to sleep the entire day so you wouldn't have to face an uncomfortable situation . . which worked well for the most part, except she did miss someone that she wanted to see.   She woke up just as the last guest left (which she was happy about).  The fun part was that her brother (23) and his girlfriend and I played a card game my dd25 had gotten for Christmas and we had a WONDERFUL time.  So much laughter!   So 'all's well that ends well'!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[js friend]

Well no meltdowns this year!

DD19 ended up staying with gd for 3 days instead of staying for just the one day as she previously stated, and we

all had a wonderful time. There was no tense atmosphere or dd distancing herself as she did last year... .she really worked hard on making it really enjoyable for gd as it was her 1st Christmas... .

I did noticed that she went a bit over the top with presents for gd though. Mountains of the stuff ... .all online stuff... .all bargains she said... .where all the money came from for them I dont know

... .but  I guess thats another story.

[jellibeans]

I think I will start like other have by saying it could have been worse

A week before xmas ( exam week) my daughter had a meltdown wuick quickly escalated to overdosing and an ER visit. She missed her exams that day which I think was part of the plan

She recovered quickly and we went into the holidays in a pretty good mood. We all enjoyed Christmas Day and went out to the movies. It was a good day. On Christmas Eve there was drama with neighbors we were spending time with. There teen boys were unkind to my dd and she ended up leaving. My husband didn't deal well with that at all and I find he is really struggling the most these days.

My dd has not done much during the holidays but she has been good. She has plans to sleepover at a friends for New Years so I am hoping there will not be any drama.

She did have a meds change right before the holidays so that could have triggered her meltdown. She has been doing pretty good for the past few months so her therapist feels this was just a one time thing. I am not sure but I know the sooner she is out of high school the better. It is still a major source of stress.

[Calm Waters]

a fitting end to the worst year of my life, my BPD mum died at 3am yesterday morning, despite it all she was an extraordinary women that despite the BPD and marrying a b*stard of an NPD my father who neglected and abused her she was amazing in many ways and did her best, I am missing her so much I forgive her everything about my miserable childhood. Bye Bye Mum... .I will miss you as will my Boys.

[MammaMia]

Calm Waters

I am so very, very sorry.  You loved your mother, despite anything and everything that happened in her life.  She was also a victim of circumstances.  There will be a whirlwind of emotion for you ... .please focus on the good and let the bad go.  :)o

not dwell in dark places. It serves no good purpose.

This has been a hard year.  I pray the New Year brings new hope and peace.

Again, please accept my sincere condolences.

[Thursday]

Calmwaters- So sorry for your loss.

Our holiday was very nice. That is really saying so much as in the past my post here would have been a lot less positive... .

SD arrived when she said she would. She had brought over a huge basket of gifts earlier in the week. Her Dad has been worried about her overspending for Christmas (I have tried to get him to relax about it... .SD wanted to "make up" for the years she has not given gifts, she has a good paying job right now and she didn't go crazy, she was thoughtful in her gifting.)

She brought her grandmother over to her uncles house, then came over here but had to leave to go and eat "the big meal" with the uncle, his wife, her cousins and grandmother. We invited her to come back here to play games and eat a later, lighter dinner with us but she had to bring her grandmother back home. I was disappointed that her uncle didn't step up to the plate and bring his mother home so that SD could spend more time with us. I'm sure SD was disappointed too but she has plenty of experience with this part of her family and has low expectations that they will ever do anything generous for her.

I am also so blown away (in a good way) that my nonDD noticed that SD has come a great distance with her behavior lately. nonDD, who lives out of town and was visiting, told me she will forgive and forget if these improvements become standard. (SD, while using and before she got clean) stole pain medication from nonDD after nonDD had a painful surgery and SD has not apologized to nonDD) NonDD told me she would welcome a good relationship with her step-sister. Such a beautiful sweet person she is!

Also, got a text from SD a few days after Christmas thanking me for a specific gift that she had gotten compliments about. I've texted her whenever I've used or enjoyed something she gave me. She has been more communicative with her Dad.

Happy New Year everyone!

thursday

[raytamtay3]

X-mas Eve, my ex had the kids and took them to his sister's for dinner. I was surprised my DD14 actually went and didn't take off to her friend's house (ex lives in PA, I NJ)and thought, cool, this is going to be a good holiday. X-mas morning the ex dropped the kids off as is the plan. We opened presents and it was a nice warm and fuzzy moment that lasted, hmmm, 15 minutes, when DD gets a text from her friend that her friend (16) got engaged. DD quickly grabbed her coat, said she'd be back in an hour, and ran out the door before I could stop her!  We had family coming over for dinner at 4, and it was 2:30 at this time. 4:30 rolls around, guest have arrived and I try and contact DD to come home. No response. 6:00 DD comes in, grabs food to take with her back out and I lost it. I yelled at her in front of the company and she didn't fight back as she rushed to gather food. Just grabbed the food and ran out to her friend's car before I could stop her. I was livid and totally embarrassed!  

She had been saying that on NYE she would not be home and would be staying at a friend's house. I told her no, she did not have my permission to do so. But she did anyone.

I know it's the illness. But what a cold hearted thing to do. What a disgrace.

[mggt]

Dear Calm Waters,  I am so very sorry for your loss it will take time to heal hold on to the good and happy memories you have and god bless