Update on replacement

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I posted this as a reply to another post too but think it might be helpful for others to read for comfort.

I spoke to BPD ex fiance's new wife (10 months post break up and 3 months post cancelled wedding and he's married) for a week before her wedding, oblivious to the fact she had already signed legal documents.  She was sweet, sympathetic and supportive.  She didnt tell me her wedding events had started to save me pain.  The morning after she was married, she excused his punching me by saying he was drunk, told me not to interfere and that the next step she would take if I continued to give her unsolicited advice would be to start ignoring me.  Maybe it is me, but I think ignoring people is pretty low.  Yup, that level of change and manipulation in 12 hours.  Her telling me that he hadn't painted me black when she overheard me describe his abuse to him and him accuse me of lying and denying he has ever abused me, even though I sent her evidence.  I don't blame her, she started off being nice and I could hear his words coming out of her mouth at the end.  They are no better off, they will not change.  So toxic that this is the damage they can do in 12 hours.  Thank God it's not me, I hope she realises sooner rather than later.  She's a smart confident woman, like I was before he had his way with me.  I wonder how long it will take before he crushes her.  It will happen, it's a matter of when.  I tried to warn her, and my heart will go out to her when she calls me telling me I was right.

[Mazda]

I posted this as a reply to another post too but think it might be helpful for others to read for comfort.

I spoke to BPD ex fiance's new wife (10 months post break up and 3 months post cancelled wedding and he's married) for a week before her wedding, oblivious to the fact she had already signed legal documents.  She was sweet, sympathetic and supportive.  She didnt tell me her wedding events had started to save me pain.  The morning after she was married, she excused his punching me by saying he was drunk, told me not to interfere and that the next step she would take if I continued to give her unsolicited advice would be to start ignoring me.  Maybe it is me, but I think ignoring people is pretty low.  Yup, that level of change and manipulation in 12 hours.  Her telling me that he hadn't painted me black when she overheard me describe his abuse to him and him accuse me of lying and denying he has ever abused me, even though I sent her evidence.  I don't blame her, she started off being nice and I could hear his words coming out of her mouth at the end.  They are no better off, they will not change.  So toxic that this is the damage they can do in 12 hours.  Thank God it's not me, I hope she realises sooner rather than later.  She's a smart confident woman, like I was before he had his way with me.  I wonder how long it will take before he crushes her.  It will happen, it's a matter of when.  I tried to warn her, and my heart will go out to her when she calls me telling me I was right.

[Learning_curve74]

It's tough to hear what happened between you and her (and of course him)... .  

[Mazda]

It is... . we were actually becoming friends, but I am sure that he will never allow that to develop as he is worried what I will say.  But the signs will come, he is far too borderline for the abuse to stop, especially as he claims to be getting help (although he lies so much I don't know whether to believe his dubious story) and even if it is the case has manipulated this enabling psychiatrist into not thinking it's borderline.  He told me that they (he is careful to not even specify a gender) told him that him speaking to me would hinder his treatment and to tell me to back off and if I didn't listen then to block me, even though my attempts to contact him were to get him to reflect and get treatment.  I doubt any psychiatrist in their right mind would be supportive of an abusive borderline getting married 2 months after apparently starting therapy and he said they have refused to diagnose him with borderline.  Even if he has seen someone, he is so good at manipulating people, it will take them a while to figure it out.

I was really angry with how I was spoken to by his wife. It even bothers me to write that, thinking he has moved on so quickly and left such destruction in my life.