Coming out the other side...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

In my darkest days I came to this message board to read posts so I didn't feel so alone in the twilight zone, and gain some strength from reading the words of others. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It really helped. This is the first time I have written my own post.

My divorce is now final and I have been NC for over 3 mths--I can finally start to breath again.

Luckily I did not have a child, or a business, or a home with my spouse--I feel for those of you who do and all you have to go through--it was a terrible experience for me, soul-sucking. My spouse tried to get as much money from me as possible, as that was the only thing my spouse could threaten/bully me with--and constantly hounded me via phone/text/email until I blocked everything--'under siege' as my family therapist described it.

(By the way my family therapist--who was the least qualified on paper compared to the very high-priced BPD clinical psychologist and the psychiatrist that I tried to get us help from--actually gave me the best advice overall... . to get the hell out of the situation, and fast). My friends and family were giving me the same advice. In the end it all clicked for me and I realized that I could not 'fix' things and that I had to save myself and get out of the 'crazy bubble' that had worn me and my life down.

I had the invaluable hardcore support of one coworker/friend that just made all the difference during the worst of it--as my family lives in another country.

And of course I learned a lot about others and myself. A lesson I would have rather not learned the hard way, but so be it.

Thanks again and I hope we all find some peace.

[nearlythere]

In my darkest days I came to this message board to read posts so I didn't feel so alone in the twilight zone, and gain some strength from reading the words of others. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It really helped. This is the first time I have written my own post.

My divorce is now final and I have been NC for over 3 mths--I can finally start to breath again.

Luckily I did not have a child, or a business, or a home with my spouse--I feel for those of you who do and all you have to go through--it was a terrible experience for me, soul-sucking. My spouse tried to get as much money from me as possible, as that was the only thing my spouse could threaten/bully me with--and constantly hounded me via phone/text/email until I blocked everything--'under siege' as my family therapist described it.

(By the way my family therapist--who was the least qualified on paper compared to the very high-priced BPD clinical psychologist and the psychiatrist that I tried to get us help from--actually gave me the best advice overall... . to get the hell out of the situation, and fast). My friends and family were giving me the same advice. In the end it all clicked for me and I realized that I could not 'fix' things and that I had to save myself and get out of the 'crazy bubble' that had worn me and my life down.

I had the invaluable hardcore support of one coworker/friend that just made all the difference during the worst of it--as my family lives in another country.

And of course I learned a lot about others and myself. A lesson I would have rather not learned the hard way, but so be it.

Thanks again and I hope we all find some peace.

[sadinnc98]

I am so glad you are on the "other side" and doing well! I am trying hard myself to get there... been one of the hardest things I have tried to do... and I keep failing at it. Your story gives me and I am sure many others hope!

[Free2Bee]

Thanks for coming back here and sharing your experience with us. It's good to hear from someone on the 'other side' who's come out okay. Your post was affirming to me and gives me hope... .

All the best to you 

[arn131arn]

46 and 2 just ahead of me