Thank You ALL

[Tincup]

I just want to take a minute and thank everyone on this site.  Other than a couple of close friends no one knows what my relationship with my ex was like.  And NO ONE understood what that relationship was like.  I think they thought I was making things up.  After all they had met her, and liked her.  She was personable, and intelligent.  Came across very well, and smart as Sh@t. 

But you guys all know what this was like.  Made me realize I was not losing my mind, and helped me wrap my head around something that TOTALLY did not make sense.  After all how could anyone have a fantastic day with someone, and be broken up via a text message within 2 minutes of leaving them on great terms? 

It was such a relief to find this place, so I just want to take a minute to thank you all. 

[Lucky Jim]

Other than a couple of close friends no one knows what my relationship with my ex was like.  And NO ONE understood what that relationship was like.  I think they thought I was making things up.  After all they had met her, and liked her.  She was personable, and intelligent.  Came across very well, and smart as Sh@t. 

Well put, Tincup.  Same for me.  Most who met my BPDxW were impressed.  Only those who have been in a r/s with a pwBPD can really fathom what it's like.  For others, it's just way outside their realm of experience, so they have no frame of reference.  That's one reason why being in a r/s with a pwBPD can be so isolating, because no one can quite comprehend the things you are telling them, which seem so far-fetched.  Behind closed doors, it's a nightmare, but few get to see that side of a pwBPD.  Lucky Jim

[heartandwhole]

And thank you, Tincup, for sharing your story with us.    That is what this forum is all about, and hearing about your challenges and triumphs helps us all with our own.

I hear you about the abrupt changes that can feel so devastating!  That happened to me, too, and it truly boggles the mind, until you find information like on this site.  Whew!

Keep sharing your recovery, Tincup, we're all in this together.  

[shellsh0cked]

Most borderlines are high functioning and appear normal to most folks... . It's really only the close ones that suffer their wrath... . which is what makes it difficult for us to get folks to understand... . or even believe it.

Then they also have their enablers... . and family members that just don't wanna "deal" with them and just pretend the problem doesn't exist... . Not that they could do anything anyway since it is up to the BPD to get help.

[Free2Bee]

You're among friends, Tincup. Glad you're here 

That breakup thing has happened to me too - in fact, every time my ex and I had a great day together, I would brace myself for the fallout (usually an argument/breakup via text message). I never really used text messaging before this relationship - I think I'm damaged for life now... .

[shellsh0cked]

You're among friends, Tincup. Glad you're here 

That breakup thing has happened to me too - in fact, every time my ex and I had a great day together, I would brace myself for the fallout (usually an argument/breakup via text message). I never really used text messaging before this relationship - I think I'm damaged for life now... .

My ex and I could have had a perfect day together... . I'd have to leave to run errands (feed my animals, wash clothes... whatever) and always uncomfortable... . because I was worried I was about to get some text with some relationship ending issue in it... . Trust me I know.  I would get sick to the pit of my stomach when I'd hear a text come in... . not because I didn't wanna talk to her, but fear of the fires that often came... .

[shellsh0cked]

You're among friends, Tincup. Glad you're here 

That breakup thing has happened to me too - in fact, every time my ex and I had a great day together, I would brace myself for the fallout (usually an argument/breakup via text message). I never really used text messaging before this relationship - I think I'm damaged for life now... .

My ex and I could have had a perfect day together... . I'd have to leave to run errands (feed my animals, wash clothes... whatever) and always uncomfortable... . because I was worried I was about to get some text with some relationship ending issue in it... . Trust me I know.  I would get sick to the pit of my stomach when I'd hear a text come in... . not because I didn't wanna talk to her, but fear of the fires that often came... .

[Pretty Woman]

All my friends chalk it up to "lesbian drama". It's nice to know this ISNT lesbian drama it is a disorder and clearly not all women are like this. It seems like it (on this site) but they are not!

[Free2Bee]

Pretty Woman: It's been eye-opening for me too! I never realised that straight people had so much drama too! I guess we lesbians don't hold the patent on that. ;-)

Shellsh0cked: I had to disable the specific text tone I used for my ex. I don't think I'll ever be able to use it again without triggering panic and a sinking feeling of fear. Almost every time a text came in, I thought 'Oh no, what is it now? Will it be bad?'

Not a good way to live, is it? :-(

[shellsh0cked]

Pretty Woman: It's been eye-opening for me too! I never realised that straight people had so much drama too! I guess we lesbians don't hold the patent on that. ;-)

Shellsh0cked: I had to disable the specific text tone I used for my ex. I don't think I'll ever be able to use it again without triggering panic and a sinking feeling of fear. Almost every time a text came in, I thought 'Oh no, what is it now? Will it be bad?'

Not a good way to live, is it? :-(

You are not alone in that.  Exactly how I felt too.  Oh god... . is it something sweet and wonderful, or is it something wrong I have done now?  BB Nymph tone makes my skin crawl and a know come up in my stomach.  I totally get that.