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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Paranoia and visual hallucinations  (Read 491 times)
thicker skin
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« on: January 17, 2014, 01:46:15 PM »

Hi,

I was wondering how many of your partners suffered with visual hallucinations when under stress? Mine has had two that I know of, both after I'd left him and stopped contact. The first, he swore that a negative entity had flown out of his mouth, after pinning him to the bed for hours, bouncing off of the tv and down the stairs. He said he had been possessed and it was to blame for his negative behaviour and attitude towards me. The second really frightened him but he wouldn't go into detail about it, because I think he could see my 'seriously, you think I'm nuts and need help' doubt on my face.

He is also quite obsessive about everyone watching us/him/me. Socially, he is better than he was, but for many years, he couldn't function in company, making him withdrawn and mute. He would constantly scan like a merekat on guard. I'm wondering if that's why he thinks I enjoy people looking at me? Does he think that I think like him?

As an example, I recently asked if we could spend some time together once a week in a country pub. Our son sticks up the skittles for said pub on a Thursday night. In all, it's an hour of driving getting him to and fro, for 2 hours work. I thought it would be good for us to have some us time, away from home. He point blank refused, asking why I'd want to sit in a pub with everyone watching us all night? The thought hadn't entered my mind.

Anyone experience this?
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maxsterling
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
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« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2014, 02:05:17 PM »

The social paranoia is definitely and issue for my current girlfriend.  I think she would prefer life if she and I moved to a deserted island.  This deeply worries me.  If we go out, she's always conscious of people looking at her, wondering what they are thinking, and always assuming they are thinking negative things.  The reality is, they probably aren't thinking anything at all, because most people really don't give a damn.  I remember once when she was going to the gym, she came home to complain of some "bhit" who came to use the machine next to her about how the woman was judging her and trying to show off.  From what I gather, all the other woman did was use the machine next to her with headphones one.  She was a "bhit" because she was thinner, in better shape, and using the machine faster. 

My previous girlfriend whom I suspect is NPD, had strange paranoias.  She accused me of cheating, claiming she knew because she saw the other woman in a "vision", even describing what she looked like.  And she claimed her 11-year old son was conspiring in his own kidnapping!  The "kidnapper" was supposedly his best friend's mom.  At the time, I attributed much of her paranoia to regular and lifetime pot smoking, but now I wonder how much a personality disorder or mental illness factored in.
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Clearmind
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« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2014, 03:56:42 AM »

My ex was paranoid and was accustomed to being misunderstood. He has spent a life time folks not understanding him. He didn't like being watched either and would rather be placed in the background and watch from afar. BPD is a shame based disorder.
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thicker skin
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« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2014, 04:49:21 AM »

It's horrible. He thinks I'm nuts for not seeing or thinking what he does, preferring to think that I'm too ashamed to admit it. He can take an innocent remark from 10 years ago, place it next to a request I've made today and turn it into evidence of my deviance today.

The dangerous thing is, he can be very plausible. He has ruined so many good relationships, not to mention my reputation and confidence.

I was ordered to walk into our local mental health unit with his diagnosis written down and seek help. I did. I got 3 different psychiatrists opinions over some months and still he didn't believe them. Couples therapy was a total disaster.

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