Posting this in two places and could use some venting space

[feelingcrazy7832]

Well, the CPS person I believe has now completed her interviews. For those that don't know, my addict exBF made a false claim to CPS that I leave my daughter home alone for "several hours on several different occassions" after I wouldn't answer the door when he came banging on it when my daughter was already in bed. My daughter is 5 and i've never left her home alone ever.

When the CPS person came to my home, I hadn't yet filed for a restraining order. That came a few weeks later. After receiving texts from my exBF that he wanted me dead I filed for a PPO and the judge granted it ex parte. Thank God, the two weeks is up and i haven't received any notice that he is going to fight it. How could he? I have the texts to prove it.

The CPS person talked to my daycare provider. Of course, that went fine because there has never been any evidence of neglect. The CPS person called my daughter's father last week asking if he knew what the allegations were and he did. He and I have a great co-parenting relationship and are honest with each other and do the best we can as single parents to work together. The CPS person told him that there was more than just me leaving her home alone. Immediately I knew my addict ex called and told her more after receiving the PPO. I knew he would be vindictive.

When the CPS person went to my daughter's father's home he talked to them both and explained the allegations. It CLEARLY came from my ex after receiving the PPO. The CPS person told them that she doesn't see this going anywhere. My daughter's father did nothing but say the greatest things about me. They didn't even know about what I did for work, which is manage a large department in one of the top hospitals in the country. He explained what I do on a daily basis for me, my daughter and for work. They interviewed his older daughter and asked "is there anything you don't like about "feelingcrazy" and her response was "what, my other mama, NO I love her, she's fun, she spends time with me, she let's me stay with her for entire weekends, she active, she's nice, I LOVE HER." It lasted less than half an hour.

I'm so happy this is over. I haven't received any letter from them yet but she did state she sees this going nowhere. I'm so relieved. It's been the longest month and a half of my life. Last night I had the worst nightmares about my adicct BPD ex. I'm so glad he's gone, out of our lives for good. Now I just have to somehow deal with my feelings of hate and anger and disgust. I mean, I've never been so disgusted with a person in my life. How do you do something so low, so vile, so disgusting? Make up lies to bring in CPS into a home where you know damn well no neglect or abuse is taking place? The whole week after CPS was called, all I did was receive texts and frantic calls from him about what an amazing mother I am, how he has seen what I've done day in and day out for my daughter, how well taken care of she is, how smart she is, etc. Then you get served a PPO and you retaliate by making additional false claims to CPS to ruin my life and my daughter's life? I hate him.

There was a time i blamed the drugs. I was such a fool. I separated the good part of him and the drug part of him. What a lesson to learn. I fell for the “oh more me, I had such a terrible life” crap. There are no two people in him. He is one person, which is an abusive, vindictive, spiteful, selfish, spoiled disgusting human being. This is not drugs. This is a personality disordered drug addict that will take down anyone around him so the focus is off of himself and everyone can go down with him. It was when the drugs stopped, that his true personality came out. No wonder he did drugs. I wouldn’t want to live with myself either.

I'm sorry for the rant and for being so angry. I just have to get my anger out. The best part of all of this is that his court date is next week. He's been lying to doctors to get RXs written for the two drugs he had on him when he was arrested to lie to the court he had a Rx for what he was arrested for. Trust me, it's taken me every bit of control to not call that prosecutor and tell them everything. Part of me said, you want to make false claims to a government agency and screw with my family, well, let's see what happens when I call the prosecutor for your case and tell them the truth and see what happens to you. I refuse to do it. That would mean I was just like him. Like my mom has said to me, let God and karma take care of him. You focus on you and your family. Even with what he has done, I refuse to stoop to his level.

Sorry for this angry rant gang. I'm just beyond disgusted that human beings actually act this way. God and karma. That's what I keep repeating to myself while I take deep breaths.

[delusionalxox]

Thats just appalling, feelingcrazy.

It is borderline sociopathic, what he has done... to interfere not only with your health and sanity but that of your innocent daughter... . it is indeed vile.

Yeah I too believe in karma. Evil corrupts the evildoer and what he has done is evil.

interesting point about the drugs. My ex was always nicer, or at least quieter, when puffing marijuana in industrial quantities every day. When he came off it all the nastiness came pouring out. Withdrawal makes the disorder worse but you are right, the addiction is a symptom not the cause of the disorder.

[feelingcrazy7832]

And what I do need to add to this which I need advice on is this…….he has refused so many times to pay me back money he owed me or give back my personal belongings which is par for the course. This time he has chosen to not return a phone which has hundreds of pics of my daughter from April to December of this past year. Of course, he lied and said he would send it back. It also had voice recordings on it for the past three years of my daughter, from age 2 to 5. I thought they were backed up. They were not.  That phone, if he got access to get through the passcode would also give him access to hospital info where I work. I did turn off service but the old emails would still be there.

I have free legal services through my job. They said they could send a “demand” letter to him asking for him to send it back to them or there would be further legal action.

I’m so done with this drama. I don’t want it to continue. A big part of me wants to say forget about it and move on but this involves almost a year of my daughter’s life! Why should I keep giving this guy free range to take from us? I don’t want drama. I wonder if this is going to cause even more drama but at the same time I need to stand up for me!

[delusionalxox]

You know you won't get your phone back feelingcrazy. That seems to be par for the course with pretty much EVERY BPD ex on this board. I should think even a demand letter won't work as he is so warped, but it's worth a try I guess? I would do it just to piss mine off, but I'm in the angry phase atm!

[feelingcrazy7832]

well there is also the fact that phone was tied into my work email. It has a lock on it which is required by my IT department at work. I don't trust he would not attempt to get into it. This contains hospital information, very sensitive emails containing info on patients, financials, HR info, etc. I'm contacting my IT department today. The thing he doesn't get is there are consequences to the stupid crap he does. I've let him get away with murder over the years. I could be more threatening. I could go to our hospital police and have them call him. I could go to local police. I'm trying to do the non threatening route first but perhaps I should call my IT security and police departments at work first.

Here's the thing. I don't put anything past him at all. Nothing. God knows what he would make up about me to slander me to my hospital police department. It would be humiliating. The PPO I got on him does state that he is not to interfere with my work so if he did something like that I'm sure it would be a violation and he could be arrested/ It's just not worth it to me. That's too much drama. I just want my damn phone back. I could scare the crap out of him out of anger and to be honest he deserves it and much worse but I am sick of the drama.

[LilMissSunshine]

Feeling, first I'm so happy the CPS nightmare seems to be ending.  What a complete f*&k for doing that.  To me, I view that hit_ as a crime against the most innocent of all - children.  The possibility that a child is ripped from the home and placed with strangers, based on lies, simply as a revenge tool towards the parent is the lowest of low.  It's criminal.  Keep that   AWAY from your child.

Secondly, my exBPDbf also refused to return some important personal items from me.  Personally, I would try to leave your employer out of the loop for as long as you can.  I decided to file a small claim against my X and a couple days after he was served the sumons he returned my stuff.   I'm still showing up the day of our hearing to collect court fees.   

Anyway, good luck.   

[feelingcrazy7832]

I spoke to an attorney finally today who is drafting a demand letter for him to return the phone. She is considering it theft. We will see what happens.