atcrossroads
 Offline
Gender: 
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married, 8 years
Posts: 343
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« on: January 26, 2014, 11:55:43 PM » |
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Hi all,
I've been quiet on the boards simply because I've been so busy -- juggling the divorce issues (still trying to list house after being out a year!), moving to my new house, and I've fallen woefully behind at work.
Last week, we were near a deal with my stb ex to get house listed within the month, and he just melted down. In two days he sent me dozens of wild emails; in many cases each one contradicted the last. There was tons of name calling, claims that clearly I was lesbian and didn't want to be divorce, claims that the "community" also believes I don't want to get divorced, etc.
All of this stemmed, so it seems, from a provision my attorney added to our ALMOST signed PSA which stated that IF husband stopped paying mortgage and foreclosed, I would still get my share of equity.
My attorney added that to protect me because he's been threatening to foreclose for nearly the whole year I've been gone -- "If you stop paying mortgage, so will I, and we'll foreclose." His mother even threatened me with it this summer, and his lawyer said to mine (a month ago after our hearing at which my stb ex WAS ORDERED TO PAY FULL MORTGAGE because I've purchased my own home and he's sole possessor), "Well, you know he can foreclose?"
In repeated emails since the hearing husband has been furious and feels a grave injustice has been done. His brother, also an attorney (but not family law), is emailing me that he is paying MY SHARE of the mortgage.
They are extremely angry about the court order. All of this can easily and rationally be solved by LISTING and selling the house and splitting the equity. Duh.
He is making it so much more complicated and so much more difficult than it needs to be (not to mention ridiculously expensive). I know each one of you here relates!
Back to my subject line: A few days ago, after two days of crazy emails and firing his second attorney (!), I find out from mutual friend that he became very suicidal the day he fired his attorney (my attorney sent a STRONG letter with rationale for the provision and included a lengthy stream of emails from the two days with tons of threats of foreclosure, harassment, etc.). After firing his laywer, my husband requested the correspondence. It must've gone downhill after that.
I assume he was drinking, home alone, and in despair. He reached out to a friend, who got him and ended up having to call deputies to take him to ER. At ER I was told he was combative and saying he was fine, and so the deputies had to drive him an hour to a larger hospital to admit him involuntarily to a psych bed.
I was a wreck that night -- emotions all over the place, crying, and I couldn't sleep. I feel such compassion for him though he's been monstrous to me. He has also (mostly) been very good to me, but I know he is a miserably distraught person with tons of self loathing. I've seen him in a ball crying on the floor telling me how worthless he is. My heart broke for him. But now that he's right back out, I'm concerned and shocked he was released so fast. We work together, and I wonder - will he be at work tomorrow? Can he function?
I presume they sedated him and spit him back out because within 72 hours he was home and his mother/brother are (or were) with him.
Who has experienced this? No one but the one friend knows I even know about it. Of course, I was hoping he'd get a 30 day inpatient and get some help. Do you think he was diagnosed with BPD or pd? Do you think he snowed them?
I just don't know what to expect but am waiting for other shoe to drop (as always). I know I will be blamed by his family. They have amped him up instead of calming him throughout the process.
Does anyone have words of wisdom or experience to share?
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