I hate the part where I sit there and watch him implode...

[Foreverhopefull]

The last 3 weeks have been a black hole of bad news and it's been affecting my dBPDh allot.

Now he has convinced himself that it's his fault that I'm sick (it has nothing to do with the cold I had before leaving for my trip and being up working (work and caring for my grandpa at the hospital) from 5:30am till 10pm every day, and it being bloody freezing... . it's because he cares about me that I'm sick), he's given my grandpa the kiss of death because he let himself truly love him and let him know that he loves him (grandpa having double pneumonia, lung cancer and c.difficile) and he's feeling more and more depressed on a daily basis about it all.

I hate sitting there and watching him get this way, all I can tell him is to make sure to tell his therapist (he has an appointment today) how he's feeling. I try to help him say out loud how he feels, but I'm not a therapist so there is just so much I can say. I hate feeling useless like this... . it's just so heartbreaking.

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[coworkerfriend]

I completely agree with you, Foreverhopefull, it is heartbreaking to not be able to fix or change or even help them when they get into the black hole.  It breaks my heart every single time.  I am working on it and keeping my distance when he gets like that.  I am beginning to realize I don't have to sink into the black hole with him.  I am trying to keep myself ok so when he starts his way out, I am here for him.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon

[bruceli]

One of the better analogies I've heard is that it is like throwing them a life preserver and they continually throw it back to you and drown.