Was she a BPD my little story :..

[Yoyoing]

Was she a true BPD ? Btw sorry for imperfect English (second language)

I was dating this girl for 2 years. She was madly in love with me from the get go... . Talking kids marriage moving in together. Calling me her great love!

I have health issues(Lyme disease)  and during the course of the relationship she was all over me and trying to heal me.

I have to admit I was fairly depress over health a lot of the time and became weak and needy towards the last 6 months to a year of the relationship. So I think I might have bed dumped by other girls who knows.

For the whole time she was very needy and clingy ... . Always texting or calling.

She was very jealous and treated me like gold for the most part.

She also had a trouble in the past with other relationships and seems like she was living a crazy life before me. Slept with countless number of guys... . but I was different ... . I was her savior.

She has fear of abandonment... . She would always talk like I was going to dump her imminently. Sometimes she would hide my keys If I had to leave or we got in a small argument.

She had trouble with anxiety and depression but it would come and go but for the most part she was happy go lucky smiling and laughing all the time. Although very moody that's for sure. She had panic attack and what seems to be a chaotic life prior to our relation.

She is very hypersexual. she only think about that and our relationship was based a lot on sex. I was tired a lot of the time but If not we would have been having sex 24/7.

Tendency to consume alcohol and marijuana when possible. She would limit herself with me because I was pretty clean but she is a party animal.

She is highly influential by other and will go from one ''white'' person to the next in her relationships. After 1 yoga lesson saying I have finally found my master etc ... .

She is also very manic alot times getting hyper talking very fast... . Getting super excited over not much. Laughing all the time really loud.

Lost her mom when she was a teen with whom she had a difficult relationship. And got lightly abused once by family member did not get much details.

Hypochondria always worried about body and often sick.

I think that with a different guy things would have been a lot different but since I was very calm and in control and had very clear boundaries... . She was respecting me a lot in the relationship.

Anyways she dumped me out of the blue without much closure after telling me 1 month before she would always be by my side.

Honestly part of me feel I deserved it since I became very needy and took her for granted a lot. But another part of me feel like this relationship was maybe not normal or healthy and I am trying to understand. And I want to know what to do if she comes back at some point.

A lot of her actions and character traits look like BPD histrionic pd but I have a few questions.

Can BPD be nice ? She was almost always very nice never really insulted me and rarely yelled ( in the end before the break up she was starting to become a bit mean, noticing all my faults and painting me black a little bit maybe to help her break up not sure and remove the guilt from her shoulder.

She was also very respectful of the law and to others and very dedicated to me in the relationship. In fact too dedicated to me... . it felt unhealthy at times. She loved me so much that it felt unreal.

She would have bout of rage for the most annoying things... . But she would avoid fighting and keep everything inside. If we had a disagreement and I was unhappy about something she would often cry or play the victim.

She would also often change or rearrange reality to her advantage for victimization purposes. And she would had harsh words to conversations that I never said. She would do this very subtly.

I feel like she fit almost all criteria for BPD and maybe histrionic but she does not some feel mean and evil like some of the other post I have read. She his manipulative but she never insulted me and for the most part she almost never yelled. She would just get that crazy look in her ayes when she was mad at me and run after me with her fist in the air but she would not stay mad for long and I was always turning the situation around and make her laugh.

She was never really mean or abusive maybe a bit towards the end... . I was probably the more difficult partner since she was very very needy and clingy that why I am really wondering if it could be BPD.

Anyways interested in what you guys think about it ?

Does this sound like BPD ?

Yoyo

[NoCRV]

Hi Yoyoing,

You can look up the DSM for BPD and see if she fits the nine traits to get a better understanding.  They can also be found of the right hand of you screen in the Leaving a Relationship Links under What is Borderline Personality Disorder?  Whether she has BPD or not, it does not sound like a healthy relationship for you to be in.

[CoasterRider]

I will say what I was told when I posted a same thread months ago upon arriving here. Whether it's BPD or not it sounds like it was a chaotic relationship, it wasn't giving you what you needed. You can't be her keeper all the time and be getting what you really want also? I know I wasn't... .

Diagnosis or being able to but her behavior in a box to then label it and stick it on the shelf for closure doesn't always help heel the pain these break ups have.

BPD or not now is the time to ask yourself, was I getting what I needed from her? If not why did I stick around through all the "yoyo"? Did I deserve better? If so, why didn't I stand up for myself?