Has anyone done this before?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

We've all been through recycles, some more than others. Does anyone pre-empt the recycle?

Because with me, I would put important decicions on hold just incase she came back. So, I delayed renting rooms in my house because I thought, if she does come back, then I can't have people in the house. I bought tickets to see a band this month, but haven't decided who I'll take just incase, because I'd rather go with her. The worst one is relationships.  I have been dating and seeing a girl, but I'm avoiding taking it further, just incase the ex comes back.

It's not a healthy way of doing things, just curious if other people have done this.

[Eric1]

We've all been through recycles, some more than others. Does anyone pre-empt the recycle?

Because with me, I would put important decicions on hold just incase she came back. So, I delayed renting rooms in my house because I thought, if she does come back, then I can't have people in the house. I bought tickets to see a band this month, but haven't decided who I'll take just incase, because I'd rather go with her. The worst one is relationships.  I have been dating and seeing a girl, but I'm avoiding taking it further, just incase the ex comes back.

It's not a healthy way of doing things, just curious if other people have done this.

[max101]

Absolutely

I have cancelled lunches with family, going to games with male friends and spent many weekends in "the dark" from the rest of the world just in case she call. Its an addiction and just another sign that these relationships are not healthy.

Any normal person would just go to a concert/game and think to themselves f**k it!

[Dog biscuit]

My guess would be that we, on this board, all had our own ways of delaying the pain of the final BU.

What would happen if you stopped making space for her to fit into your life again?

[Eric1]

Well, if stopped making space we'd enevitabaly move.

But, something's preventing me. And, that's a whole issue in itself.

[heartandwhole]

Been there and done that, too, Eric1.  Missed fun stuff, time that I can't get back.

Why not try an experiment and fill those spaces with you and what you love to do... . see how it feels?