Husband in Hospital / What Now?

[DazedButNotConfused]

I have actually been on the board for a while  -  even posted a few time way back when. While I have been reading almost each and every board when I have had the ability (dBPDh ALWAYS around!)and have studied the lessons as best as I could, tonight is the first night I can post. Why? My husband was taken to the hospitol.

He didn't try to kill himself but he was so totally out of control that after two broken windows and some very very colorful screaming (he was outside), I guess someone thought it was a good idea.

Now I am sitting here after picking up the glass and trying to get someone out to board up the windows (don't trust companies that say 24 hour service - they aren't!) trying to figure out what to do.

The policeman that accompanied the ambulance told me to call ahead to the hospitol. I did - but while they said they would call back, they haven't. I could go there but it is 4 AM and I am not sure if I would set him off again. So ... . what do I do?

Suggestions appreciated. (BTW, interesting how the police responded to this. They said it was his right to break things and asked ME if I had been drinking!)

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[NoCRV]

Hi DazedButNotConfused,

Sorry you are going through this.  I wish I could help with boarding up the windows.  If he's in the hospital, I would just leave it since he has readily help available and your presence could trigger him.  Just my two cents.

[DazedButNotConfused]

Now I am atill sitting here, many hours later with little or no idea as to what to do next.  I called the hospitol and they will give me no information. I have called his parents and they have left everything in my hands. What they don't realize is that everything is now in his hands, he is calling the shots, denying me access, and this very well may be the last I ever hear from him.

I am sad - he was going to DBT (though not always doing his homework) and I, dummy me, I allowed myself to get just a little, tiny bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, things would get better.

It is what is , I guess ... . but what is really sticks right now.

Dazed and Slightly More Confused than Usual

 

[DazedButNotConfused]

Thank You, No CRV

Funny ... . your reply brought tears to my eyes. Hard to believe right now that someone would be so nice as to want to help me with the windows ... .

And no ... I didn't go to the hospitol and have found out that he has denied me access anyway.

(I have taken this to the staying board now. That is what I would really want but I have a gut feeling that he is done with me)

DBNC

[peaceplease]

DazedButNoConfused,

I know that you are moving to the Staying Board.   I just wanted to stop by here and give you  .  And, I say    to the cop that responded.

I am sorry about your dh.  I am glad that you are able to post here.

peaceplease

[an0ught]

Hi DazedButNotConfused,

Now I am atill sitting here, many hours later with little or no idea as to what to do next.  I called the hospitol and they will give me no information. I have called his parents and they have left everything in my hands. What they don't realize is that everything is now in his hands, he is calling the shots, denying me access, and this very well may be the last I ever hear from him.

I am sad - he was going to DBT (though not always doing his homework) and I, dummy me, I allowed myself to get just a little, tiny bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, things would get better.

It is what is , I guess ... . but what is really sticks right now.

Dazed and Slightly More Confused than Usual

it is certainly shocking to see him carried off in an ambulance  .

I called the hospitol and they will give me no information. I have called his parents and they have left everything in my hands. What they don't realize is that everything is now in his hands, he is calling the shots, denying me access, and this very well may be the last I ever hear from him.

Not sure what the rules are but considering how much he was out of control the first priority of the H may well be to stabilize him. Possibly they don't know much and couldn't tell you anything and are likely afraid to say anything due to whatever rules. Don't take it personally even it touches a very personal part of your life 

Your instincts tell you to run to him but then a short time apart may well be what is needed right now for everyone to calm down. It would be so much better if you would know when the uncertainty ends 

Hang in there  ,

a0

[DazedButNotConfused]

Just wanted to give all you very kind people an update ... .

The hospitol only kept him for 26 hours - something which required me to pick him up at almost 2 AM. Needless to say, he was all rested after his drug induced sleep and I was so tired I am surprised that I even got us home.

Yesterday he had to go for a bunch of medical follow-up, tests, etc. I really don't know why  -  I would have thought that the Social Worker who interviewed both him and me would have understood borderline rage and all the nasties that can surface as a result. Guess not though ... .

He, of course, is all smiles now and I just keep repeating to myself "it is what it is ... . "

Sometimes, it is just harder than others, I guess.

DBNC