She can say she is sorry but it is for her own selfish gain

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I have asked this before and i see it is a common question with new nons on this board. In the past I think in my mind I was hoping for a recycle. I admit I never wanted the relationship to end and would give every inch I could hoping for a change in her. I know no this is not possible for her. we have been broke for over 6 months, Ive done my best to move on past her. She has attempted twp was i think were recycles and I was able to side step those. Her latest was two weeks ago and she called texted everyday, we had lunch together and she talked about getting back together. I was cautious but listen to her. I never committed one way or another. She then gets mad for some perceived thing I texted ( the normal in our relationship) She gets mad and gives me teh silent treatment. Which is fine. I just went on my merry way just like I had been doing. This weekend I get a call from her which I didn't answer and then a text and then along voice mail. It was her telling me she was sorry for her behavior earlier from a few eeks ago and blaming on outside factors from life to her job. I never respond back. yes, they can say they are sorry but you better believe it for their own selfish gains. She has pulled this before, prior to us recycling. she would say she was sorry, admit her wrong doings only to get me back and repeat it all over again My point is No, they never truly go away. They still keep on and on and on.

[mitchell16]

I have asked this before and i see it is a common question with new nons on this board. In the past I think in my mind I was hoping for a recycle. I admit I never wanted the relationship to end and would give every inch I could hoping for a change in her. I know no this is not possible for her. we have been broke for over 6 months, Ive done my best to move on past her. She has attempted twp was i think were recycles and I was able to side step those. Her latest was two weeks ago and she called texted everyday, we had lunch together and she talked about getting back together. I was cautious but listen to her. I never committed one way or another. She then gets mad for some perceived thing I texted ( the normal in our relationship) She gets mad and gives me teh silent treatment. Which is fine. I just went on my merry way just like I had been doing. This weekend I get a call from her which I didn't answer and then a text and then along voice mail. It was her telling me she was sorry for her behavior earlier from a few eeks ago and blaming on outside factors from life to her job. I never respond back. yes, they can say they are sorry but you better believe it for their own selfish gains. She has pulled this before, prior to us recycling. she would say she was sorry, admit her wrong doings only to get me back and repeat it all over again My point is No, they never truly go away. They still keep on and on and on.

[MrFox]

Ah yes, the old "I'm sorry, but... . ".  My exBPDgf was quick to apologize for the little things she did and always add a "but" that made it not her fault.  Medium sized things she would apologize for after she calmed down.  There was, of course, a "but" that made it not really her fault as well.  The big things, cheating, caught in a lie, her insane test that ended our relationship, no apologies.  It's all my fault.

When someone truly apologizes, they take responsibility for their actions.  Adding that "but" to it, making excuses, pointing out how it wasn't really their fault is not an apology.  It is saying the words "I'm sorry" to smooth over the situation or to get something in return.   It's not an apology, it is a manipulation.

[mitchell16]

thats how i see it. She has said she was sorry on numerous occasions. she always adds a " but" to it. example she raged at me becasues he was stressed about work or becasue I had pushed her to that point. She just never could explain what I did to push her to that so called point. Of course. Ive been donw this road with her  so many times ive lost count. Her apolgies are empty, they have no value or meaning.