Just checking in

[buddy1226]

It's been  few weeks since I've checked in and all of you have helped me more than you know so I feel like I'll be here for life. Helping when I can and getting understanding about what still seems to be the tragedy of my life.

I'm doing better. Much better. I'm able to go about my life and I'm laughing again. That is HUGE for me. I've had no contact in a month or two now. I'm really not sure how long it'a been. I'm a huge trigger for her and any contact gets ugly fast. I've let go finally. It still hits me in waves at times and I long for her, get angry at all she so foolishly did but it passes. I understand that I'm better off without her and better for the experience.

I've also met someone. I'm very scared by my BPD ex that I see BPD traits in the new girl. I think it's just having become so well versed in the subject of BPD that I am hypersensitive to the traits.

We have moved kind of fast and that concerns me. but then I don't even know what normal is anymore. I'm enjoying what's going on and I've been completely honest about all that has happened with my ex.

I'm just glad not to be miserable anymore. I know that another relationship is not the answer and I didn't seek one out for that reason or any reason. It just kind of happened and it is flowing effortlessly. 

[DiamondSW]

Be careful mate,

I'm 5.5mths NC and I also have the opportunity to move on with friends and one person who could be more than a friend.  She's a lovely girl and reminds me of what it feels like to be wanted/cared for.

But I'm not ready -and I've been 100% straight with this girl. 

I need a good friend... . well, tbh I have lots of good friends, but I need a 'new' good friend -and she's it. 

Her company is fun.  She smiles.  She doesn't demand.  She is grateful.  And I'm not afraid to be myself with her or feel that I have to be more impressive or successful/wealthy than I really am.  I can just be ME

It's been a LONG TIME since I was able to be me.  Be careful hey

[growing_wings]

I'm doing better. Much better. I'm able to go about my life and I'm laughing again. That is HUGE for me.

hey buddy, it is great to hear you are much much better, and you are able to enjoy your life.

My addition to your post is, make sure that the reason you are laughing again is because you are happy with yourself, not because you are with someone else... .

for me, a critical part of my recovery is to ensure i am happy and fine with myself, so i dont need to rely on someone else to make me whole, or happy or fix me. I have recognized that part of the mess of me was me expecting others to compliment me, fix me and be there for me, when in reality, all that comes from me.

i am not saying this is not your case, just sharing what i seek for me before i step into a new r/s...

keep enjoying your life! life indeed gets better (at some point) without the pwBPD...