What happens after an ignored recycle attempt?

[misssouthernbelle]

He cut me out of his life, accusing me of trying to convert him to Christianity, just wanting him to be with me, and calling me selfish for those things, and never looked back... . we were no contact for a month and a week. I was doing so good. Then, a week ago today, last Saturday morning, after running into each other 3 times in the previous week, my phone plays the tune I had assigned for his texts as I'm getting in the shower and my heart stops dead. All I could think was "Really?" All it said was a nonchalant, forced "Hey! Hope your doin iight." I didn't respond. I get back to college town the following Sunday night and post a few things on this anonymous app we both share. I later see one that is one mile away from me (we're in the same apartment complex) and it is a picture of the letter F with a U written on it. I know it was him.

The funny thing is, I think he's trying to provoke me to reach out to him. He usually posts on that app several times a day, vying for sympathy/attention/dates. After that "F U" post, he hasn't said a peep all week on there. It's weird. Then, when he gets back home, he starts posting again, using the same "I'm 21. Caring. Sweet. Understanding guy. Raised by a single mother. I just want to find my soulmate/best friend and start our family together. No one understands that... . "

Gag me! It's his story and he repeats it over and over. Someone asked what the catch was later in the post and he admitted to being broken and looking or someone to make him feel whole and him make her feel whole. He's actually pretty aware of his BPD and doesn't realize it, or doesn't care. He also admitted to there being a long list of his brokenness and though he didn't cry about it (yes, he does), it was the catch.

I guess my question is will he ever contact me again, or will this finally be the end? I know that he hates being ignored... . times 1,000. I'm kind of surprised he hasn't said anything since it's now been a week and then again, maybe his subliminal "F U" was enough and I'm painted black again.

It's hard to not want to respond, but I know that it triggers my pain to talk to him because I know he will never change and will use this pathetic story on every woman to come, only to screw them over with his broken soul.

[mapys]

Wow... .

Hold yourself together - don't respond. Maybe delete that app - what is the point of it anyways?

He probably will contact you someday. My soon to be really gone ex after an argument with me (we were living together for around year already) ran out of home and called her exbf - just to ask him if "something was wrong with her", when we patched things up, she continued to ignore him. So I guess this is how it works - they can't contain themselves - they need to express themselves and often they will use dirty tactics to provoke you. To get my attention after I packed and left my gf sent several texts - I ignored them, the last one was some explaining and closing line - btw my mother is in hospital. Manipulative? Yes, I think so!

So expect these tricks - get tough!

Good luck!

[mitchell16]

more then likely you will be contacted again and again. Ive found or atleast with mine they never really stop or go away. After every break up she iniated and I would go NC. I would get texts and voice mails telling me she was never calling again or that would be her last attempt, only for her  to try 3 or 4 weeks later. and I cant blame her it always worked. i would eventually give in, so why should she stop? she could start a fight, which led to a break up, have her fun for 3 or 4 weeks, put on her poor pitfully me act, blame her bad behavior on her job, family, friends, the economy, me or the weather and I would still take her back. I did every time for almost 3 years.

we have been broke up for well over 6 months, shes attempted some sort of connection about every 3 or 4 weeks. Be it a phone call, or a text to see how Im doing or to let me know some minor other thing. BUt its just a way to stay connected. Im sure she has me replaced to some degree, I dont know for sure. But I know she cant be alone. In my opinion her little text or calls are just like training wheels, away to make sure and reasure herself that Im still just a phone call away if she needs me. That I havent moved on completely.

so in my opinion they never really go away. maybe some do But not with mine. I think back now she never really cut anybody out her life that she had a relastionship with me. Both her ex husbands, the boyfreind before me. She was always popping up and telling me that so so ex called her that day. In truth she had made contact with them and started it up with them again but blamed it on them. I never contact her, she always starts it with me. It makes me wonder if shes go some poor sap like me that she is telling him Im contacting her.

funny thing when me and her started dating. She told me she had been broke up with her ex for several months. She said she told him to move on that it wasnt going to work. The had only been together for about 10 months with a couple of break ups. She told me that he still contacts her every week or so to see if she wants to get back togther. I didnt think aything about this. But one night we was together and she got a text from him. I remmber now how she made a big production out of him texting her, wanted me to see it, she acted like she was afraid because " he was so violent". His text was very random, just asked what she was doing. She told me, I dont know why he keeps texting and calling me. She said he thinks we will get back togther. I asked her did she tell him that. She said yes. I told her she needed to explain to him that she was seeing someone and it was improper for him to just keep texting her. She acted like she didnt want to do that. I explained to her that he is still hanging on to hope they will get back togther and if she is really done with him she owes it to him and herself to give him some closure instead of leading him on. I said by texting with him and telling him that she did still care for him was just giving him false hope. So she did. she texted him and told him she was seeeing someone else and he needed to please stop texting her. He returned a vile, profanity riddled text calling her a lying low life Bhit. This alway confused me because if i had been broke with a girl for several months I would have never texted her on a friday night out of the blue nor would I have gotten mad that she was seeing some else after that much time. I would expect her to be. So my point is I would have acted that way if she ahd been leading me on all this that time, telling me that she wanted to be with me and telling me she wasnt seeing anybody else or that she was just stressed out and needed a break. I would have acted about like he did. Like I had been tricked. So in other words she was keeping him warm until she sowed me up. Once she was confident she had me hooked. She no longer needed him, she discarded him. which after we had been dating for about 4 months she was told by her relatives that her ex was doing real good and was dating a very nice lady that had a good job and he was fixing to build a new home etc... . guess what. she started telling me she needed space, and she wasnt sure about us etc... broke up with me, recycled him for about a month. Broke it off with him and came back to me. LOL, so she had to convince herself that she could get him back and once she did and messed his world up again. she was done and then came running back to me. So hows that for sick. So they never, never go away. But in all honesty and I find this hard to accept myself, still. We should pray they do. I think about how she did that poor guy and then I see her pattern with me and that is a sick, sick person. she set me up from the start and pulled some sort of crazy trigulation game with me and her and the ex. She was the victim, her ex was the persrcutor and I was the rescuer. She told me from the start how her ex was violent, had broke into her home, was controlling and jealous. She told me how she felt safe with me, how she had prayed for a man just like me, how she hadnt been in love like this since her first husband. would pretend that she had fears over her ex boyfriend stalking her and she needed me to stay with her at night. This all made sense to me, It appealed to my ego. BUt what alwasy bothered me, if she was so afraid of him, if he was so bad and mean to her. why would she go back for a month? i asked her that once and I got just a blank stare. I aksed her if she was so afarid of this man and he had broke into her house why would she ever what to try again. It didnt make sense. If only I had paid attention and walked away after the first time I would have saved myself so much heartache and head ache. but she was good and I fell for it.

So once again, NO I dont think they ever really go away.

[mapys]

I aksed her if she was so afarid of this man and he had broke into her house why would she ever what to try again. It didnt make sense. If only I had paid attention and walked away after the first time I would have saved myself so much heartache and head ache. but she was good and I fell for it.

Same thing here - they just make up stories to hook people. I suppose they could be master criminal minds They have the operation going... . All the exes are a phone call away and usually they are willing to comply to every need. And that is true. Flirting with exes didn't stop.

Mine also told me those sweet ego boosting stories but now I have cleared my mind (partially at least)

[Waifed]

NO I dont think they ever really go away

My ex contacted me every other day for two weeks after I broke it off with her.  I then told her she likely was BPD and she called the cops on me and I have not spoken to her since.  Six months NC.  I don't expect to ever hear from her again, especially since she knows I would never take her back. It depends on the situation and the person, after all they are still human.  

[growing_wings]

I guess my question is will he ever contact me again, or will this finally be the end? 

depends!... . if he finds a another person and starts a relationship, he might not contact you for a while... if he does not find someone else he might still contact you ... .

to be honest, with BPD... it is never clear. Some folks keep contacting no matter what, and some just disappear... .

if contact him triggers you pain... then why? just let it go, give yourself time to grieve and heal, and see the world and the r/s with a different perspective, of independence and far from the FOG... .