Where did my life go? Suggestions for a book title please

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

What do the last 31 years mean? I'm finding it all so hard to compute at the moment.

I thought I'd met the love of my life, my soul mate, who I fitted in every way. I've hung on to that notion all this time. What a brilliant deceiver my BPDh was. Really I was married to someone from the planet Zog.

He left last August. This February I found out that he has been having an affair for years with a lady he met in Mexico (probably one of many) and whom he's now moved into his department to work.

It's now starting to dawn on me that her child (a daughter, youngish), could well be his. My son (21) thinks the idea is 'far fetched' but quite frankly given the other revelations, nothing is far fetched to me thesedays.

Once I've been through the hell of divorce and rebuilding I plan to write a book. What should I call it?

[toomanytears]

What do the last 31 years mean? I'm finding it all so hard to compute at the moment.

I thought I'd met the love of my life, my soul mate, who I fitted in every way. I've hung on to that notion all this time. What a brilliant deceiver my BPDh was. Really I was married to someone from the planet Zog.

He left last August. This February I found out that he has been having an affair for years with a lady he met in Mexico (probably one of many) and whom he's now moved into his department to work.

It's now starting to dawn on me that her child (a daughter, youngish), could well be his. My son (21) thinks the idea is 'far fetched' but quite frankly given the other revelations, nothing is far fetched to me thesedays.

Once I've been through the hell of divorce and rebuilding I plan to write a book. What should I call it?

[froggy]

"The FOG"

[momtara]

That must be a shock to your system.  Try not to feel bad, though.  You are one of many who've married someone with a mental illness, also one of many who has been cheated on.  He still picked you to marry.  That may not be a consolation, but there's no sense in only thinking of the bad.  It only hurts you more, sometimes.  Be as angry or sad as you want, of course - we all should - but I guess I want you to realize that you are a valuable person and you DO make good choices, and it's not your fault you were deceived.  Many of us are.

[toomanytears]

"The FOG"

Good one!

[toomanytears]

That must be a shock to your system.  I guess I want you to realize that you are a valuable person and you DO make good choices, and it's not your fault you were deceived.  Many of us are.

Thanks momtara. When I wrote the post I had just come home from a weekend seeing my son who is living abroad at the moment. He is 21 and very like in looks to the beautiful tall handsome chap my husband was when I met him. It's very disturbing and disregulates my mind when I see him.

I just don't want him corrupted. But, unlike my husband, he doesn't have BPD and hasn't been through his appaling childhood.  I'm just keeping my fingers crossed.