Threw in the towel tonight...

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

After a long tenure behind the bar, tonight is my last night.

I'm 5 months sober, I got another great job, out of the debt I had last October, don't have to work 60 hours a week to keep up with the Jones's while  in school full-time.

I figured something out. I always had to have the shiny things with my ex. Always had to have the best "stuff". I felt like she needed that to feel like she was special. I tried my hardest to give her that, in the end it wasn't enough ( see who she's using now).

But I think not having to feel like that, needing to prove my worth or love to someone through "things" is going to liberate me from a life full of everything I needed or should have beens.

I want to be successful one day, but I don't want to feel like I HAVE to in order for someone to love me. They say Sam Mart drove around Arkansas in an old beat up pickup truck... .

something about that has a nice ring to it.

[arn131arn]

After a long tenure behind the bar, tonight is my last night.

I'm 5 months sober, I got another great job, out of the debt I had last October, don't have to work 60 hours a week to keep up with the Jones's while  in school full-time.

I figured something out. I always had to have the shiny things with my ex. Always had to have the best "stuff". I felt like she needed that to feel like she was special. I tried my hardest to give her that, in the end it wasn't enough ( see who she's using now).

But I think not having to feel like that, needing to prove my worth or love to someone through "things" is going to liberate me from a life full of everything I needed or should have beens.

I want to be successful one day, but I don't want to feel like I HAVE to in order for someone to love me. They say Sam Mart drove around Arkansas in an old beat up pickup truck... .

something about that has a nice ring to it.

[Mutt]

Arn,

I'm broke. She left me with old furniture, scraps. If I had a lady friend, I'd be embarrassed to bring her over. I'd rather have it this way, than go back.

[arn131arn]

You are so right, Mutt. The time is what depresses me most. The time I missed being with my son so I could work at night.

But I know I will never make that mistake again.

[Mutt]

Yeah, I agree. I miss being home w/ the kids as a family. Get off work, S2 is excited when I get home. Being a part of something. A husband, provider.

Some guys, divorce feels like shackles are broken their set free.

Others, it's tough because they lose that place, as father, husband, part of a family.

I'm in the second category, that's a reason I found divorce so difficult.

I had to let go of my ego. I'll say one thing, I don't take things for granted. I cherish the moments I have my kids with me. 

D8 counts the days down when she's at mom's, S2 asks to go back to dads when he gets back to ex's house.