More of DD2's Object Constancy Issues

[Turkish]

Well, she turns 2 in two days, so consider the age.

Since their mom couldn't bring them to church this weekend due to our son being sick, I realized that this was the longest I hadn't seen my daughter ever. The most before was two, 2 day trips out of town to help my mom with her plumbing about a year ago. This was one more day, and a day to a child at that age is an enterity, especially given the change in routine and households now.

I picked her up from the baby-sitter's last evening (which is uBPDx's mom). I was told that our daughter was grouchy all day. She awoke from a nap and was grouchy to everybody, even me, though i was able to calm her down finally. Didn't want to eat. She didn't seem to be sick (and wasn't this morning either). I got her into the car, having "graduated" her to our son's plush car seat while he got a new booster. Both kids were happy. I got them home and we spent time drawing with chalk on my driveway. DD2 finally seemed to calm down and get happy. BBQ'd dinner while we did the same on the back cement slab. She was finally better. She was a little grouchy before bath time, but was ok after that. After I got them to bed with no incident, I came in later and took the sleeping baby to lay in bed with me so she could sense that I was there. She awoke in a good mood, ready for breakfast and to go. I dropped her off at grandma's and she was still happy. They both wanted multiple kisses and hugs as I went out the door to work.

I told her family that it was probably because she hadn't seen me for that extra day. The kids' uncles kind of looked at me sadly (I think they are saddened and even ashamed of their sister's behavior). Even uBPDx conceeded that this was probably the case when she called to talk to the kids later. All in all, I think it just bugs me, to be euphemistic, that their mom decided to play out her core abandonment wound upon our children, especially at our daughter's age, where disorders are formed. I'll just keep doing what I am doing, I guess, and keep more enaged with the kids as best I can. I sense some latent anger from our son as well, and I'm not sure if it is a result of this, or if that is just the way he is (he is more like his mom than me... . overly emotional. Might be some first child syndrome in there as well).

[A Dad]

Man, I feel for you 

My two year old hasn't spent any time with his mother for a week - She got chickenpox from our older son and has been staying away, although she came around for a very short visits to pick up my son's leftover chickenpox lotion.

Today my babysitter who has been looking after my older son after school and gets to see the younger one every evening before she leaves went on holiday. The younger boy came in and asked for her. Many times, in the end I messaged her and she FaceTimed with him. Only asked for his mom once when I refused to give him more chocolate because he didn't finish his dinner. Sad!