Well it has been exactly 1 years since my ex BPD fiance cheated on me, humiliated me, lied on and to me, and eventually abandoned me. News inevitably got back to me that she is now pregnant by someone else despite by best efforts to avoid anything that had to do with her. Now the fact the the girl I love has moved on and is now starting a family is so heart shattering that I have been contemplating suicide. I don't leave my house for any reason unless its to go to my therapist or to go to work. I dumped all of my friends because I can't trust them anymore. I just want this madness to stop, why won't she leave me alone. If she is pregnant then by all means why does she still have to post things about me on social media. Here influence is spreading across the town I live in that I am about to pack up and move to Alaska just to have some sort of peace. My life is in ruins, self esteem is non-existent, will to live is below average, and I just sleep all the time. I can't live like this anymore, she beat me and I'm waving the white flag but she won't stop until i'm in the ground. This has to stop :'(
Mr. Gaga,
Surely there is a glimmer of hope in your will to live and that is the benefit of posting on here. Keep posting. I'm sorry that you're in so much pain but you really have so much to live for in this life. Somewhere in this equation you have to believe that your ex's pregnancy is not the end of your life. I wanted to end my life at one point too but it gets better if you just hold on one hour, one day, one week, and one month at a time. I prayed, I cried, I screamed, I called family and posted on here in my darkest hour. It helps to not isolate. Please do not give your ex so much power over your life. She doesn't deserve it. She's not the answer to your happiness. In spite of your sad feelings you will get through this if you just post your feelings and get them out of your system. If you kill yourself she wins. Why give a narcissist that satisfaction?
Spell
