Working with ex...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I work in the same building with my exgf who I believe has BPD.  It is an excruciating situation to deal with.  She broke up with me but for the first couple months I would get the impresion she wasn't over me. I would always catch her looking through the window when she passed by where I work. Once I caught her staring through her window at me the entire time I walked from the parking lot into the building. I would hear from different people that she still talked about me and was sad about the breakup. But the times I would try to reach out she would get nervous, defensive, confused, and angry. The last time I tried to talk to her in person she immediately started texting on her phone and a short time later a security guard came over asking her if she was okay.  I truly believe she texted him.   It has just been so confusing and heartbreaking to see how far things have fallen. That was 5 weeks ago and I wont contact her again not after that.  It really makes the healing process that much harder to be in such close proximity.

[chris1979]

I work in the same building with my exgf who I believe has BPD.  It is an excruciating situation to deal with.  She broke up with me but for the first couple months I would get the impresion she wasn't over me. I would always catch her looking through the window when she passed by where I work. Once I caught her staring through her window at me the entire time I walked from the parking lot into the building. I would hear from different people that she still talked about me and was sad about the breakup. But the times I would try to reach out she would get nervous, defensive, confused, and angry. The last time I tried to talk to her in person she immediately started texting on her phone and a short time later a security guard came over asking her if she was okay.  I truly believe she texted him.   It has just been so confusing and heartbreaking to see how far things have fallen. That was 5 weeks ago and I wont contact her again not after that.  It really makes the healing process that much harder to be in such close proximity.

[BacknthSaddle]

Don't know what to say except I can empathize with this completely. I'm in a very similar position. I'm NC right now and I do everything I can to avoid my ex at work. Part of me feels pathetic for not being able to face her. But, regardless if her reaction, I know I'll spend the rest of the day if not longer ruminating on it if I see her. Not worth it. Staying away as much as possible, even if the effort to do so gets me down.