blocked emotions

[letmeout]

My counselor brought up something interesting at our session today. I was telling  her how thoughts of my BPDexh keep randomly popping into my head, and how remembering the things he did has been seriously pissing me off.

I repressed a lot of emotions to survive that marriage, and the counselor said it is about time I really get good and mad over the abuse I took!

She said it is necessary to remember and feel those emotions; they will serve me well when I start dating to never to allow that type of behavior in my life again.

I wonder if anyone else still has these same issues a few years being out of a r/s with a BPD person or am I just slow at recovering?

[trappedinlove]

I wonder if anyone else still has these same issues a few years being out of a r/s with a BPD person or am I just slow at recovering?

I'm not a few years out yet but I definitely have an anger problem, i.e., lack of thereof

In my case this probably goes farther back to earlier issues with my late-ex-wife and my dBPDtraits daughter where I learned to control my anger to be able to stay sane, and well I did an overly good job at it

I guess I feel a lot of guilt around that, but hack, I feel no anger, just love, even though I was hurt in a very painful way and I do feel used in the sense that the r/s circled around my uBPDxso needs and I was there to support her in the worst of times and she made a huge leap forward in her personal growth and just skipped forward in her life with no gratitude and zero empathy to my pain.

I must admit though that I wasn't abused to the level others are reporting here.

I guess that if I were I would be much angrier, even furious.