juggling

[neverloveagain]

My exBPDgf is waif type, anyone else feel like if they just kept dancing harder and juggling all the problems everything would be ok?. The more hoops i jumped through the more she would lay down and the tireder i became till exhausted and discarded. Madness.

[arjay]

Greetings.  Oh yes.  The guilt I carried at times because of the often comment "if only you had not done this", or "if only you didn't do that", "then I wouldn't have... . ".is what she would rant when things fell apart.

Yes I also felt like the person juggling the spinning plates thinking I could keep it all going and "happiness would be abound".  The reality is that it more like her jumping off the boat into the rough seas, having me save her and having her do it again and again and again.  Over time I realized it was not about her finding happiness as it was more about her projecting her pain.

Peace

[neverloveagain]

Hey arjay thats a good way of looking at it. She used me up every last ounce of blood and sweat and when i was at my weakest and a time i needed her to help me just for once she picked me up and smashed me into a million pieces and abandoned ship and left me to drown.

i guess the more plates you spin sooner or later they will all come crashing down.