I'm so angry, confused and saddened right now.

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

The last contact we had via email wasn't the nicest, i referred to it in my earlier post.

She threatened to block me everywhere if I should "bombard her with emails". I didn't, since it was my last anyways.

Now I just logged into FB and noticed she was GONE. She blocked me, probably also my phone and email.

I don't know why. But it hurts. It makes me mad too. I am an inch away from writing a lengthy email to her replacement and all his team colleagues. He is, as me, a professional athlete in a sport all three of us share (her being far from that level).

I'm so mad. WHY. I didn't do anything. Didn't stalk her, nothing.

[pipehitter]

The last contact we had via email wasn't the nicest, i referred to it in my earlier post.

She threatened to block me everywhere if I should "bombard her with emails". I didn't, since it was my last anyways.

Now I just logged into FB and noticed she was GONE. She blocked me, probably also my phone and email.

I don't know why. But it hurts. It makes me mad too. I am an inch away from writing a lengthy email to her replacement and all his team colleagues. He is, as me, a professional athlete in a sport all three of us share (her being far from that level).

I'm so mad. WHY. I didn't do anything. Didn't stalk her, nothing.

[LettingGo14]

The last contact we had via email wasn't the nicest, i referred to it in my earlier post.

She threatened to block me everywhere if I should "bombard her with emails". I didn't, since it was my last anyways.

Now I just logged into FB and noticed she was GONE. She blocked me, probably also my phone and email.

I don't know why. But it hurts. It makes me mad too. I am an inch away from writing a lengthy email to her replacement and all his team colleagues. He is, as me, a professional athlete in a sport all three of us share (her being far from that level).

I'm so mad. WHY. I didn't do anything. Didn't stalk her, nothing.

The FB block sent me into anger as well, and unfortunately, I stayed there for a long time.  

It hurt.  Badly.  Because I felt like I had invested so much of my life and myself in her -- and it felt like I was being erased.   I wanted an eraser too, but nothing I did erased her from my heart and mind.

The more I struggled, the more I got tangled in a web of my own emotions.  The more it hurt, and the more I imagined her happy and me miserable.  The more I wanted her to hurt emotionally and me to be happy.

Then I stopped struggling.   I sat with my anger, and fear, and disgust, and bitterness.  

Learning about BPD helped me let go of her.  Sitting with my emotions -- and not repressing or indulging or reacting -- has helped me reclaim myself.

We can't let ourselves be defined by someone else's actions.   

I'm sorry it hurts, pipehitter.   It does.   No doubt about it.

PS - With regard to sending that e-mail -- I think, my friend, it's best to hold off.  Ultimately, as many here can attest, it keeps you stuck, rather than liberating you.

[WalrusGumboot]

pipehitter, there is no easy way out of a r/s with a pwBPD. I think by nature we want to be favorably remembered, even if the r/s did not work out. But we get the door slammed in our face. We get blotted out of their life like we were horrible monsters. How can this not hurt?

Even so, this too shall pass. Time is a remarkable healer.

[GlitterBug]

The last contact we had via email wasn't the nicest, i referred to it in my earlier post.

She threatened to block me everywhere if I should "bombard her with emails". I didn't, since it was my last anyways.

Now I just logged into FB and noticed she was GONE. She blocked me, probably also my phone and email.

I don't know why. But it hurts. It makes me mad too. I am an inch away from writing a lengthy email to her replacement and all his team colleagues. He is, as me, a professional athlete in a sport all three of us share (her being far from that level).

I'm so mad. WHY. I didn't do anything. Didn't stalk her, nothing.

Hi Pipehitter,

I can very much relate to your post.

I was blocked to without a second thought and when I sent a text to say that I felt our frienhdship was worthless to her as I had been cut out so easily, she replied accusing me of callingher worthless which is not what I said at all (I would never call anyone worthless) - This off course was a massive trigger for her and the flood gates opened to a whole barrage of abuse, name calling, telling me I was a nasty, bitter, lonely person who would be alone with my own thoughts for a long time (bit of projection there i think!).

During her rant, she didnt acknowledge any of the valid points I made and instead continued to rage at me before telling me to never contact her again.

I was and still am devastated - The feeling of being 'erased'[ that you mention exactly sums it up!

pwBPD take alot of our time, patience, understanding and love and I think it hurts so bad to be erased by them in this way because we feel short changed, I know that how I feel anyway.

I feel angry because I would drive to her place in the middle of the night because she had been cutting herself or hysterical on the phone at all hours, She tried to take her own life wit an overdose of prescription pain killers, I saw some unusual posts from her on Facebook and I knew in my gut that something was seriously wrong I drove to her place at like 3am, let myself in and my instinct was right, she was semi conscious and in a terrible state, I called an ambulence but the wait was 30min, I knew I could get her to the hospital faster by car so I dragged her out of bed, down the stairs and bundles her into my car and drove as fast as I could, thinking 'please don't die like this' over and over again.

Fortunately she pulled through but refused any help they offered her - I was on hand to more or less run her affairs for the next 6 months so she could try and get well, i moved i with her so she didn't feel alone, i held down my own job and responsibilities as well as be there for my closest friend.

And now I am simply no one to her - I am a disgusting, vile human being and she claims I like to 'kick her when she's down'.

She told me that she had had an 'enlightening moment and that she didn't need people like me in her life'.

I loved her just a thought she was my real sister and now she is gone without a trace and I think my heart will be forever fractured.