Boundaries, presence and self esteem

[Sunny Side]

I haven't been here for a while but as Ralph Ellison once wrote I've been "slipping into the breaks and looking around".  All your stories are still with me.   Like many I've been crawling away from the wreckage scab by scab, frequently stopping to take stock but not looking back, or when I do it's only to see how much space I've put between myself and the crash site.  Anyway, Maya Angelou -- some may know her -- died yesterday.  I was always amazed at how true she was to how she chose to live her life once she crawled away from some pretty mangled and horrific wreckage of her own.  I offer something she once said as an example of this choice and find it very useful when I think of how I like to live my life, and when how I failed to live it it left me standing too close to the flames.

From Maya:

"I never understood why some men wanted women who didn’t know anything.  Wait a minute!  Run that by me one more time!… You just want somebody to feel superior to.  Suppose you have a heart attack.  I think the wise thing is to take responsibility for the time you take up and the space you occupy.  So women, if you’re with men, who don’t respect you, too bad, too sad, your bad because you can’t count on them. And men, if you’re with women, who don’t know who they are, too bad, too sad, your bad, they can’t help you."

She's right.  Boundaries, presence and self-esteem are like kryptonite to people who try to bring chaos into our lives.  Examine them, cultivate them and carry them with you at all times then watch the toxic people around you start dropping like flies.

[arjay]

Great post and great line by Maya.  Thanks for sharing.

Peace

[bb12]

Great entry Sunny Side

It really does all reduce to those 3 things

Ps - love that you don't look back! I've stopped too

|iiiiBb12

[fromheeltoheal]

Boundaries, presence and self-esteem are like kryptonite to people who try to bring chaos into our lives.  Love it!