Bean,
I'm so sorry you are going through this. You seem to be an "acts of service" person... . that is the same way I like to express love.
Very very very frustrating to have that tossed back in your face.
You have found the right place to learn and ask questions.
I will tell you that I have had to moderate my expectations quite a bit.
Please keep coming back...
It was my BPDh birthday, I arranged breakfast in bed, full english with bucks fizz etc, then his presents (I don't work, so don't have my own money, I have access to his money, so I thought my presents were going to be waster and an issue if he ended up paying for them) So, I carved our names into our big oak tree on our land, I found a beautiful stone on our farm months ago which I kept to paint writing on it, which I did, a few little love tokens, a picnic in the back of the car at a local village and a romantic dinner outside on the land, with 200 candles as a path way! And a homemade cake with 37 candles! We didn't make it to the evening, however, we had unexpected family (his) visitors the night before delivering his birthday present, 3 female goats - this sent him into a frenzy because he BELIEVES I will sleep with his 21ish nephew and that WE ARE making eye contact? he is convinced that this will happen and its happening under his nose, even though his nephews wife doesn't think this! I assure you it is not going on, this is one of his fears - he doesn't trust me around men, he thinks my 'sex radar' is on! So this anxiety, dysregular emotions has been happening into the following morning - we managed to get through half the day after I had to leave the house at 7am in the morning for 2 hours before I came back to give him his gifts etc.
During that night, he was distance,kept saying that I should leave, he can't gives me what I want, I would be better off with someone else - he believes this, so no validation or silence is going to change that!
Now its the morning, he said my gifts were a joke, he hates them, he called me some more about them - then he's told me I have to go this week, we have to break up as its my 30th next weekend and this will happen all over again - he sabotages anything nice, he admits that! I don't know what to do! Today will be emotional hell for both of us! then we have to get through this week? I am tired and upset - I want his pain to stop!
