All her 'relationships' lasted 6 years...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Some of this is included in another thread, but I repeated it here under this title because I suspect it may resonate with some here.

My uBPDxgf was bisexual, her previous two long term partners were women. One of them, (1995-2001) was painted black to me as:

Controlling, wouldn't let her speak to family of friends, made her hand over her money, out her in debt, beat her, tried to drown her in a pool.

I seriously question now whether any of this is true.

Her next same sex partner (2001-2007) was and is a very nice person, undemanding, and not very sexual. My ex was able to walk all over her, by all accounts, and still has her in the 'friend zone' after all this time. My ex never tried to paint her black to me, except once when she said that she'd been upset by remarks made of the appearance of her female anatomy. I doubt that was true. Or if it was, it'd have been a passing remark with in ill-intent.

Me, ( 2007-2013) well, apparently I MADE her accrue large debts ($30k) because my successful business meant that she HAD to compete and spend like I did on holidays, trips etc ( she had a very good salary, with personal free cash of $3000 a month after paying her share of our house expenses, she had no car lease or other obligations, having free use of the truck, German sports car  and van I own)... .

I made her spend too much on gas because she 'had' to fill the tank anytime she drove one...

I also, apparently, treated her like a 'hooker' and any pleasure I gave her was 'for your own gratification' and I never once made love to her... . only 'f&&&ed her'

I made her changer her hair, clothes, makeup and taste in radio... . These people can take responsibility for nothing, it seems!

I'm writing all this to help anyone else experiencing similar, just as I have been helped by reading tough stuff here.

[Arminius]

Some of this is included in another thread, but I repeated it here under this title because I suspect it may resonate with some here.

My uBPDxgf was bisexual, her previous two long term partners were women. One of them, (1995-2001) was painted black to me as:

Controlling, wouldn't let her speak to family of friends, made her hand over her money, out her in debt, beat her, tried to drown her in a pool.

I seriously question now whether any of this is true.

Her next same sex partner (2001-2007) was and is a very nice person, undemanding, and not very sexual. My ex was able to walk all over her, by all accounts, and still has her in the 'friend zone' after all this time. My ex never tried to paint her black to me, except once when she said that she'd been upset by remarks made of the appearance of her female anatomy. I doubt that was true. Or if it was, it'd have been a passing remark with in ill-intent.

Me, ( 2007-2013) well, apparently I MADE her accrue large debts ($30k) because my successful business meant that she HAD to compete and spend like I did on holidays, trips etc ( she had a very good salary, with personal free cash of $3000 a month after paying her share of our house expenses, she had no car lease or other obligations, having free use of the truck, German sports car  and van I own)... .

I made her spend too much on gas because she 'had' to fill the tank anytime she drove one...

I also, apparently, treated her like a 'hooker' and any pleasure I gave her was 'for your own gratification' and I never once made love to her... . only 'f&&&ed her'

I made her changer her hair, clothes, makeup and taste in radio... . These people can take responsibility for nothing, it seems!

I'm writing all this to help anyone else experiencing similar, just as I have been helped by reading tough stuff here.

[arjay]

Greetings and thanks for that.  Now that I am out seven years, these stories (of which I heard too) are almost comical anymore.  At the time I took them "to heart" and believed everything she told me.  In the end I believed almost nothing.

They know how to "play with our emotions".  Whatever is really true about their "stories" is hard to know and in the end really irrelevant.  What is more important is realizing the futility of the relationship and why it is healthy to move on.

Peace