Frustrated- I bet this isn't a new word used in this forum

[Soul searching]

I have been working very hard on getting everyone in the family involved in counseling.  Well everyone finally is now  going including my spouse wBPD.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Soul searching]

Message was clipped off for some reason.   Here is my full message.   


I have been working very hard on getting everyone in the family involved in counseling.  Well everyone finally is now  going including my spouse wBPD.

One question is do I tell my children that their mom has BPD so they can start learning about it through age appropriate reading?

Second question- if your recommendations are yes, what books would you refer me too?

[Panda39]

How old are your children?  Are they getting any therapy?  Are they asking questions about how to negotiate the relationship with your spouse?

[InSearchofMe]

I would check with the children's counselor and ask him/her about what is helpful and appropriate.

[formflier]

Message was clipped off for some reason.   Here is my full message.   


I have been working very hard on getting everyone in the family involved in counseling.  Well everyone finally is now  going including my spouse wBPD.

One question is do I tell my children that their mom has BPD so they can start learning about it through age appropriate reading?

Second question- if your recommendations are yes, what books would you refer me too?

I would recommend going slow on this one.  If there are behaviors that your children need to deal with better... it may be better to help them deal with a behavior... (such as accusing)... . rather than putting a label on why someone is doing a behavior.

Please get some more knowledge and advice on this and come back here and share what you have learned.

[Soul searching]

How old are your children?  Are they getting any therapy?  Are they asking questions about how to negotiate the relationship with your spouse?

The children are in their mid and early teenage years. 

They are looking to me because of the rage episodes and then all is calm and forgotten 40 mins later. This is all too confusing for them and the older one is having a hard time dealing with it all.

Yes the children are seeing a counselor.