Enablers

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I'm not crazy about the thought of ending it for good, but I have to keep a few things in mind.  One, it's incredibly difficult for anyone to handle BPD when the one who has it admits that it's a factor.  My wife doesn't.  What's more, though, and the thing which makes me reluctantly let go - her parents.  They baby her, are thrilled at the possibility of us getting divorced, and (in the few moments when my wife starts to come close to self-realization) step in to excuse her choices, soothe her emotions, and paint me blacker than she's doing already.  Heck, they paid for her attorney, then took her and the kids on our annual trip to Disneyland. (Since he moved out of the house, he can't afford to take you kids, so we'll go with you!)

The alternative (and a boundary I've carefully expressed in session) is her disassociating from her parents - not completely, but less.  I've told her it'll be a necessary step in our R.  She responded by filing for separation.  Waiting on the courts now.

[TomFrippery]

I'm not crazy about the thought of ending it for good, but I have to keep a few things in mind.  One, it's incredibly difficult for anyone to handle BPD when the one who has it admits that it's a factor.  My wife doesn't.  What's more, though, and the thing which makes me reluctantly let go - her parents.  They baby her, are thrilled at the possibility of us getting divorced, and (in the few moments when my wife starts to come close to self-realization) step in to excuse her choices, soothe her emotions, and paint me blacker than she's doing already.  Heck, they paid for her attorney, then took her and the kids on our annual trip to Disneyland. (Since he moved out of the house, he can't afford to take you kids, so we'll go with you!)

The alternative (and a boundary I've carefully expressed in session) is her disassociating from her parents - not completely, but less.  I've told her it'll be a necessary step in our R.  She responded by filing for separation.  Waiting on the courts now.

[Veronykah]

Ha, mine has a twin brother that probably has BPD as well. I don't doubt that he tells him everything he is doing is right and helps him believe that I am the "selfish, uncaring" person he thinks I am when I get painted too. Oh and of course, he has PERFECT parents who have never done a thing wrong ever and are the nicest, best people that could have ever walked the earth. Can't imagine the validation he gets for how he handles his relationships.