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christoff522
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« on: June 23, 2014, 08:03:31 PM » |
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Everybody here has come out of a situation that seems so vain, futile. I've heard many times and thought myself that the time we spent with our BPDs was just such a complete waste. My encounter was a few short months. But some people have spent years under abuse and manipulation and adultery.
Well it wasn't a waste.
I know for a fact that a lot of us here are Christians, we're a big target for such people. My encouragement comes from there. God has a great purpose for our lives, and the BPDs were much a part of that. Whether we learned patience, obedience to God, faithfulness, and even if our recovery brought us closer to him, our time was part of that great plan.
In Matthew 11, John the Baptist sent messengers to Jesus to ask him if he was the one that was prophesied about in the Old Testament. John, this great bastion of faith, the announcer of Christ's coming, was now doubting because of his suffering in prison. Jesus tells him that "the blind see, the dead walk, lepers are cured, the deaf hear, and the gospel is preached all over - blessed is he that doesn't fall away on account of me". Then as the messengers depart to return to John he tells the crowds, that doubting John is the greatest man ever to have lived, and that he's not a reed shaken by the wind, but a man of great faith and that he's more than a prophet, that he's Elijah!
Now, we've all been in that prison, cold, lonely - oppressed - even scared. But we all made a difference! We may not see it now, you're struggling, raising the kids, trying to deal with debts, trying to juggle a job - suffering that grief and turmoil and PTSD. but it's all worth it.
You're worried about whats happening, you're thinking - am I being a good mother, father, sister, brother. You feel like you're in a dead end job, you may be dealing with your ex whos smearing you, on the edge of your tether and thinking thoughts you never would have imagined you think. But:
YOU'RE DOING BETTER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE!
God is with you - he loves you, and he is proud of you. The good that you do, your smile, your kindness, your generosity - the things that we sometimes take as "codependent traits", are actually true love, real - Godly love. God is in heaven high-fiving Angels when you remain faithful and obedient to him.
YOU MATTER MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU DO!
You may think you don't matter, but you do. Even if its helping an old lady across the road, or acknowledging someone in need. Maybe that $5 a month you give to charity - it all matters. It's being used for good some where. Even being here on these forums, it helps people - its a purpose for your live that gives it meaning. You use what you have, your gifts of kindness and generosity and love - to help others. Its not a flaw, its a design specification given by the Creator - Jesus Christ!
ITS LESS ABOUT YOU AND MORE ABOUT GOD'S PURPOSE!
All events in our live are known by God, he knew we would meet our BPD, he knows the end from the beginning. He's using this to bring about some change, some growth within you. We may never know what it is, and won't see that until we get to heaven. But just imagine that the role we play in this universe is so complex, that we cannot lean on our own understanding but must trust in Him to guide us to all truth. You should be encouraged if you have faith in Jesus. Okay this all sucks right now as far as we are concerned. But if we lean on God, read his word, pray for guidance and most of all go to church (something I need to remember) we can say when we feel down and like we don't matter - Hey! at least I'm... .
kind
gentle
faithful
obedient
loving
happy
joyous
courageous
prayerful
... . trying
and just know that one day, Jesus Christ will say to you "well done my good and faithful servant"
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