Hi Robert, I think you’re onto something with your former gf… I had a ‘normal woman’ I’d spend time with between shove-offs with my uBPDxgf, I even referred to her as ‘my template for normal.’ She was interested in me, but we’d never been friends so were still getting to know each other. It did hurt her when I returned, twice, to the BPDx, so I leave them both alone now... .
If you want/ plan to stay over your BPx, I see no problem spending time with your prior gf, she sounds wonderful. :)o let her know what you’ve been through though …if not every detail. And I’d ... avoid sex for a bit, too… You want to
know that your next move is coming from logic and not lust. I’ve since spent some time with a long-time friend, and as she knows what I’ve experienced, it’s been a great way to share some healthy thoughts, and to recover. And – it amazed me how quickly spending time with her shifted my focus from the BPDx…
You’re definitely in the thick if it right now … but it eases. One thing that helped me was re-connecting with
anything that had come ‘before her.’ Like music, friends, hobbies, even catching up with family members (I like). Be up front with folks and I suspect they’ll give you the space you need, as well as some solid companionship. And, as
woodsposse pointed out, you’re always welcome around here
