I actually don't think that preparation is the answer, here. I think it can become a way to hang onto them. I noticed that in myself. Perseverating and ruminating about the next encounter and the next time she does this or that just keeps me emotionally tied to her. The best case scenario would be that I am free to not have to think about how to be prepared for anything about her because I am fully moved on and content and happy with my own life. I've let go and changed my focus and chosen to let go of what she does and if she succeeds. THAT is the best insulation... . to be moved on, to have peace of your own, to no longer be carrying the burden of "look at all that she did to me" and "what should I do about my ex if this happens", and no longer feel a need to play her games or beat her or stop her.
I also just wrote this. Hope it will help give you some focus and encouragement!
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=228076.msg12453874#msg12453874Dude I tip my hat to you for writing that post. That was gem city. I feel like I want to shake your hand for writing that.
I still think being prepared is better then not being prepared. He can still say Im done and prepare himself for the unexpected. They are BPD and will try to pull out all stops. If he wants to shut it down then he can prepare to shut it down with the least damage coming his way. With preperation this is easier then getting caught off guard. I definitely feel what you wrote though down to my bone marrow. Im gonna save that as a bookmark. Thanks for that.
To add to what you wrote they do not win at all. They create they're own Karma with the cycle they keep engaging in. They can move on and screw someone else and act happy to the public eye but behind closed doors the cycle goes on and on and on again and again. In his case she could have stopped the cycle finally. She could be a decent human being and put the necessary work in to get better but like most that is probably not the case. They can only give the illusion of winning. Even if you have lowered yourself or think you have lowered yourself you will heal over time. You will have learned a lesson from the pain you have gotten. If they think with the logic of what you wrote then they are blocking they're own lessons. They do not realize that it's not only us they don't give closure to it is themselves that they rob of closure as well. Then they carry on extra baggage to the next one and then the next one and so on and so forth.
