11 months strict no contact

[Ritchie53]

I haven't posted for a while but as I understand the horrors that occurred in the darkest days I thought I would post an update.

I am just 2 days shy of 11 months no contact and things are considerably better, no longer do I have days where just surviving is key, it grows, it develops, you find yourself again, you gain back your calmness, your motivation, your aura - it does return. Anyone who got dropped on their head will understand, its the hardest thing emotionally you will EVER deal with. Its horrific, but, and a huge but, it improves and disappears.Yes there still are the odd thoughts about it, but they are now very infrequent.

For those that are discarded and turn to no contact, keep it no contact, never contact. On the subject of viewing how their new relationship is going via social media etc, I can only suggest this:- its down to you as an individual. For me personally I viewed the social media aspect from time to time to see how loved up she was with the new person - it devastated me beyond belief, but every time I tried to go 2 or 3 weeks without viewing it, I started wondering whether the same thing was happening in her next relationship - I was wrong every time but it gave me the closure I needed - it hammered it into my heart that she was gone even though my head accepted it, my heart needed to be pounded with the truth. This is just me, for some people they should never look at it, I secretly held out hope and I needed to rid my heart of that.

I will post again at the 12 month mark, but I have exponentially healed, my head is clear and my heart is a little more intelligent, but that is not down to her, I alone earned that right, I alone took it upon myself to take the hardest route of no contact and everything I have achieved since is down to me. It will be with you as well. And that is something I can promise.