Drawn back in

Hi, its been a while since I've posted on here (thought I was over, but oh boy was I wrong).

Usual story. Guy meets girl, girl appears to be a dream come true, up/down relationship, split after 10 months and child is born. Brief reattempt at relationship but old issues quickly reappear.

Anyway, my exdgf had stopped my seeing my daughter for 6 months before contact order was issued. For those 6 months there was only 1 email a week with update on Daughter and a picture every 2. During this period I thought I was over this woman ,discovered new hobbies, old friends and got back to previous fitness levels and she has a new BF (started dating 1 day after we split for second time). But the previous month has me questioning everything.

I see my daughter for 2 hours on a Saturday and a Tuesday. These visits usually took place at a place center until a contact center could be put into place. As these visits went on I noticed exdgf and I were getting on and even talking during the week (mainly texts). one Saturday she suggested we take daughter out to buy her some new toys. During this time the day was like the first few months of our relationship = heaven. Visits after that took place at her house and we were getting on great then boom!

she invites me over for a chat on Friday and one thing leads to another we end up sleeping together (at this point I believe her new BF has left) We then spend the rest of Saturday together (daughter included) it was perfect. Ex appeared to be her 'normal' self. The Tuesday visit comes round and we end up back at hers, once daughter has been put to sleep, me and her mum end up sleeping together again. Two days later I receive a text asking ' what would you say If I asked you if you'd like to get back together'. My response was 'I think there would need to be a lot of changes, if we were to consider it and its not just us we have to think about'.

A few hours later I receive the following text ' Take me somewhere. Anywhere. Just us. Please. Daugher is with my mum'. I foolishly run over and we end going to the cinema, during this time she tells me she's still with her BF (I instantly feel like an ass). Since then I've not been able to get her out of my head, thinking why did she sleep with me? Why did she ask me If we should get back together?

I'm not really sure what I'm asking here, think I just need to vent. I Love my daughter more than anything in world and would do anything for her. But her mum has this hold on me and I can't shake it. I know we don't work and if we did too much has gone on.

How can I break this hold she has on me? How do I resist the urge to sleep with her again? She is now avoiding answering emails regarding daughter, how can I get her to reply to them?

But my biggest question is this. From the posts I've read NC is advised to get over BPD-ex, however I have to see/talk to her a few times a week regarding daughter. Recently it has become harder for me to separate the two. Does anyone have any advice/previous experience on how they managed to handle similar situations?

sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes, my heads all over the place and I've been up for 24 hours straight with food poisoning.



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