BPD recycle

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Both of my Ts who have worked with BPDs said eventualy they all try to recycle. Is that true?

[peiper]

Both of my Ts who have worked with BPDs said eventualy they all try to recycle. Is that true?

[x1985x]

I don't think it's always true. I believe they try to recycle when their supply runs dry. If they have a steady stream of others, they are far less likely to attempt a recycle. They like familiarity, but they like to attach to a new host most of all.

[OutOfEgypt]

I don't think it is necessarily true, but it is common.  But in your case it may be, from what you have shared.  Keep moving in the direction you are moving in, and keep that door shut and barred and locked.

Keep in mind that a recycle isn't always "necessary".  For them to know that they still have some semblance of control over your emotions is sometimes enough.

[Narellan]

Quote:  "They like familiarity, but they like to attach to a new host most of all."

Sounds like you're referring to a leech 

[peiper]

Thanks. Yeah in a way she is a leech. Never helped with any bills yet makes more money.

[Ventus2ct]

Not a peep out of mine in 74 days NC and don't expect it to happen either, I recall how her previous ex was when I got with her, she didn't recycle with him, I know they got together after we split but am unaware what went on. I expect her to try and contact when her next relationship goes tits up, (so I should have another 6-8 months to heal and get over the witch!) After all, all her ex's are friends with her, so she kept telling me whilst making out I'd be immature/childish not to be!

Am almost at the stage where I wouldn't wish for a recycle, although that is easier typed than done I'm sure!

[peiper]

Mine left before this one three times and always came back in around a month, dont know about this time though.

[AwakenedOne]

Both of my Ts who have worked with BPDs said eventualy they all try to recycle. Is that true?

It seems like most do try to contact again. Mine hasn't though after 10 months. I hope she never does.

[Narellan]

My ex recycled 3 times in 4 months usually after ST for no reason for a week. This time it's been 4 months yesterday NC but a month ago he came to my door when I was out, and he rang me last Friday night but I didn't pick up.

[peiper]

I just figured out she cheated on me less the three months after we were married    ! I hope she does try.

[antjs]

even within the same pwBPD there is no rule. my ex kept most of her exs but discarded some and never contacted them again. I am split black forever cause i was bold, honest and stood up for myself so she knows it would be hard for her to try to recycle me, i would never trust her and i would be a hard target.

[peiper]

Never in a million years would I think she would do that  !  well she just made up my mind nc forever

[Changingman]

Peiper,

New sources of 'narcissistic supply' takes time and energy. This is why they keep lots of background 'friends' around. They are not known for their patience, anything will do in the moment to an addict. If they feel they will get none, positive or negative they will not bother, boredom is kryptonite to them.

It's much worst than you think Peiper, just assume the absolute worst. If you have kids... .DNA tests, and for you... .a test for sexually transmitted diseases.

Lucky you.

AJ, this is true, my ex knows that I know what she is, she is still hiding. The shame would be too great, no recycling for me. I have cut out her best 'friend' (NPD Xbf obviously) as that was her road back in the future, he has tried to reconnect with me in a few ways. I now have a new phone number and a new address.

Get real everyone, strength to you.

[Narellan]

Peiper   finding out about cheating or attempting to cheat is the worst. I feel your pain my friend. Mine was cheating with my best friend of 20 yrs. double banger for me

I feel your pain.