Contact initiation methods

[Confusedmae]

My relationship with my ex lasted 11+ years, on and off through many recycles. Each time we broke it off, he would contact me, usually via email with a sappy love letter or something similar.

We haven't seen each other in over 3.5 years and I haven't heard his voice in over 2 years. But there have been some really strange attempts at initiating contact, usually through a third party.  I remained NC through all of those.

Back in late April or early May I received a notice that he was viewing my LinkedIn account which put me on alert but I still remained NC. End of May, I received a 2 sentence email from him: "Hi Stranger.  I hope life is treating you amazing." I did respond with 2 sentences: "Hello Strangest.  Indeed, life is amazing and I hope yours is too." I've not heard anything since. 

I still care for the guy and don't ever want him to feel like he is completely alone in the world and that I hate him. I just know I can't be in a relationship with him.  Nor can I be a close friend.

Last I heard from the grapevine, before I shut it down, was that he had moved to a different state than the one he initially moved to after we broke up and is with another woman who is also different from the one he was seeing right after he moved away from my state.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any idea why his methods of contact have changed and if maybe if I respond short and simple if that will be enough to keep him at bay. Any ideas/advice is appreciated.

Thank you!

 

[Overbeck]

Nearly all Borderlines have one thing on their mind: survival.

When they break NC, they have an omnipresent need to bring us back in so as to not feel abandoned. As many of us say on here, our BPD exes 'dip their foot in the pool' to see if we will react as they need us to for them to be soothed.

Rejection can be fatal to a Borderline when they are alone and scared worst than death.

So, when they feel one method is used up or can fail, they change their MO.

Mine always did an empty text or just went head first into rant mode when she broke NC. But she changed it up when she felt more desperate to have me back and was afraid I had moved on.

As I have explained in other threads, my ex now knows that I know she cheated on me and lied extensively about her actions. Her shame is overwhelming right now---and because of that, NC might be longer than her usual period of time. And she cannot use the "I am in danger and need you to protect me" angle on me. Not after mounting some guy for who knows how many years.

Compare it to the Borg from Star Trek. They adapt to the Enterprise's weapons so as to make them useless. The Enterprise must alter its weapons frequently to defend itself. Borderlines need to change their tactics so as to always have a way to latch on to us.

[Confusedmae]

Thanks, chief. I think you're right... .just a tactic change.  My gut says he's probably fishing to see where I stand.  One of our very last phone conversations we had included him calling himself a "master manipulator."  Those were his words.  I already knew that but to hear him actually admit it was pretty bizarre.  During our last conversation he told me to lose his contact info, f off and die. But then he has the nerve to contact me.  I'll never understand.

I don't think I gave him the reply he was hoping for... .I didn't ask how he was, act excited to hear from him, and indicated that my life was amazing.  I doubt he wanted that to be the case.

Thank you, I appreciate your opinion!