Help me understand.

[going places]

The divorce was final June 18

I told him to leave July 8

He has come back a couple of times to haul away 'his stuff'.

The last time he was here, he knocked a shelf off the garage wall, and tons of chemicals (brake cleaner, car wax, etc) fell on the floor. The mess he made moving was big enough, but now, there's a huge pile of crap that has to be cleaned up.

My son was out in the garage with him helping him move, and to here the ex tell it the boy INSISTED he would clean it up... .

See, the garage was clean. Swept, neatly organized. My boy did that.

Ex thought I did... .so he was more than happy to trash the place and cause me more work.

(He's butt hurt because he has to turn over his paycheck to pay the bills. That's the way I had the divorce papers written up, and he didn't read them, and just signed them)

I told ex that the boy is the one who cleaned the garage (that he trashed) and that was a jerk move on his part. He continued to insist that the boy insisted he will clean it up.

2 days ago, I had to call ex with news about our daughter.

Told him I was going to be up on the ladder painting the upper deck.

(I am terrified of the ladder and heights)

So what did he do?

He invited the kids to go to lunch with him... .the day he knew I was going to be on the ladder, and didn't tell me.

SO yesterday morning, my oldest says "I don't like the idea of you being on the ladder while we are gone."

I said "where are you going"

She said "well dad invited us to lunch".

I said "well isn't that nice, I told him I was going to be up on that ladder today, yesterday"

It upset my daughter, and she texted him and said she was staying home to make sure nothing happened to me... .my son stayed home and mowed grass.

Ex does crap like that just to poke at me, get under my skin, get a rise out of me... .

I don't understand why he can't just leave me alone. Just leave me alone.

AS SOON AS this house sells, he will NEVER have to talk to me again... .ever.

The stunt with the ladder... .is the first time he's been 'caught' by the kids doing underhanded things.

The stunt in the garage really bothered my boy... .

What is going on? Why does he do that?

[AwakenedOne]

Going Places,

Sorry your going through all of the stress.  I don't think there is any real way to know why people with BPD do anything for sure. I'm glad you got the divorce that you have been looking forward to finalized. I can't wait to be divorced also. Now you can have your freedom and hopefully some peace too. Are you going to have to talk to him in the future when he visits the kids? Maybe you can handle visitations by way of email or something. I hope you have a fun hobby or have some creative outlet you can use to escape some of this drama.

Peace,

AO

[topknot]

I wrote to him in a text, "I have come to accept that the mean and cruel actions I have endured were truly meant to hurt me." Hard to accept they would wish true harm upon someone they held in their arms and purported to love. Scared me... .hang in there,  you don't have much more to go through to be done

[tired-of-it-all]

When I think of all the senselessly cruel ways that my wife has treated me, it is just unbelievable.  There is no one on earth that I have ever disliked enough to want to treat them this way.  What frustrates me further is that as a defense mechanism, my mind blocks these things out.  I don't remember them.  If I did, I would be so angry that I might do something stupid.  By not remembering, I let more and more bad things happen  to me.