need help

[sharklover]

I am the parent of a18 year old recently diagnosed BPD. We are in major crisis mode right now, she moved out unexpectedly, gave up going to college, smoking pot, drinking, quit her post time job, refused to take meds, and recently discharged from IVC due to suicidal threats.I am trying to accept, understand, and learn how to have a relationship with her. I need supprt &,information.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[DreamFlyer99]

Sharklover, I'm so sorry for the stress you're under right now!

You've found the best place around to support you as you learn to be the best parent you can for your daughter. There are skills and tools you can learn to help you communicate with her better, and the support you can get while you're going through this crisis is a wonderful thing. I'm going to send you straight over to that board so you can start getting help:

When a child suffers from BPD (even our adult child), not only is the child unhappy and unhealthy, but often, so is everyone who loves them. This mental illness can severely affect everyone, creating drama and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. The good news is that there are answers to these problems, and we are here to offer you the support and encouragement to help you find them. You'll see that there are things that can be done to stop making things worse and begin to make them better. A great place to start is with this set of resources: What can a parent do? We look forward to seeing you on the Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD board and hope you join us in learning how to understand and communicate with our children better.

I'm so glad you found us!

[HealingSpirit]

Hello Sharklover, 

  I'd like to join DreamFlyer99 in welcoming you to our family.  I'm so sorry to hear you're dealing with such intense struggles with your daughter(18).  My daughter is 17, and she is doing very similar disappointing things as yours, so I know how sad, angry, and let down you feel.  It's so hard to watch our child blow all the high hopes we have for them and start throwing their life away.

Mine got her GED early because she was failing most of her high school classes.  She enrolled in the local junior college, but she did not sign up for this Fall semester because she wants to move across the country to live with her boyfriend when she turns 18 in October.  She hasn't been able to find a job, and I can't help but wonder if it's because of the bright red scars all over her wrists from cutting.

I do hope you join us on the "Parenting Board" that DreamFlyer99 already gave you a link to.  There are several parents of teens or young adults and we're all dealing with similar issues.  There are "tools" and "lessons" to the right of the board that are very helpful.  And there are wonderful little videos on this site that will really help you understand your daughter's illness even better.

I'm really glad you found us!