adult BPD daugher

[socalmom]

just spent another morning crying after talking to 30 year old daughter.     

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[NorthernGirl]

Hello socalmom and 

I'm sorry to hear you have found yourself in a difficult place with your daughter. People with BPD are often difficult to communicate with and understand.

Can you tell us a bit more about your daughter. Has she been diagnosed with BPD? What behaviours have you noticed? Is she in treatment?

We have great resources and members on this site. Please tell us more and we'll provide you with some support.

Welcome again. 

[maxen]

hi socalmom and i join Northerngirl in saying 

i can feel the pain in your few words, socalmom.   one thing you should know is that there are many posters here who have cried too and will understand the situation you've been in. parents of BPD children are heroic, i think, and this site gives a place for them to support each other. i hope you will come back and if you can, speak to some of the questions Northerngirl asked. we're ready to listen and to help.

[Caredverymuch]

just spent another morning crying after talking to 30 year old daughter.     

Hi Socialmom 

I join notherngirl and maxen in saying 

I'm so sorry you have spent your morning crying    I hope your daughter is doing okay and that you are feeling a bit better by now 

I was in a relationship with a man who had BPD and I have cried more in the past few years than in my entire life. The disorder takes a deep toll on those that love. 

Has your daughter been identified as BPD?  Do you have other children as well?  BPD seems to affect so many.

I hope you will continue to share more here when you are able.

CVM

[HealingSpirit]

Hi socalmom!   

  I'm so glad you found us!  I was beginning to think I'm the only parent on here from SoCal! So, you're NOT alone, at least not anymore!  I understand how much pain your DD has caused you.  My daughter is 17, and my conversations with her turn sour so fast, I always question myself.  And when I hear how she has twisted things I've said, I start to wonder if I'm going crazy.

Can you share a bit more about the conversation you had?  We all understand here, so you have found a safe place to vent and get some much needed validation.  It isn't you!  BPD is a terrible illness that affects everyone who loves the person suffering with it.  When a child suffers from BPD (even our adult child), not only is the child unhappy and unhealthy, but often, so is everyone who loves them. This mental illness can severely affect everyone, creating drama and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. The good news is that there are answers to these problems, and we are here to offer you the support and encouragement to help you find them. You'll see that there are things that can be done to stop making things worse and begin to make them better. A great place to start is with this set of resources: What can a parent do? We look forward to seeing you on the Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD board and hope you join us in learning how to understand and communicate with our children better.

I'd like to invite you to share your story on what we call the "Parenting board."  The link to it is above in green.  There are lots of very supportive, knowledgable people who are going through similar difficulties that you are with your daughter.

Also, there is hope that things can get better.  After you've expressed your pain, and received some much needed validation from other parents who KNOW what you're going through, you may feel ready to look at the tools and lessons available on this site that can help us parents make things better by NOT making things worse.

  I'm so glad you found us!