Oversharing

[freedom33]

She shared with me her home (i moved in) after one week of knowing her. She emotionally manipulated me by telling me her sexual stories (very promiscous). She made it with a stranger in a side street in san frandisco.

Same thing here. She shared with me extraordinary liberal sexual encounters that at the start I took it as intimacy and I started sharing too (I have done liberal things myself) but as we bonded the same experiences that we shared came back to haunt us. Very uncomfortable and insecure indeed, swimming in a toxic jealousy swamp. I remember showing a bit of jealousy for the first time for her flirting and what not and her response was saying angrily to me 'you have no reason to be jealous, before I met you I wanted to grab every man's balls and now I only have eyes for you... .'. That really put me at ease. Then another time in month 2 she texted me and told me that a male colleague of ours prepared tea for her in a mug saying 'my ladyship' on and telling her that she is a man eater. A bit of a random message in the morning that I didn't know what to make.

She was playing me like a pro... .

[RedDove]

My exBPDbf over shared as well. He emailed me what he called a "Love Letter" on my birthday, which was only 12 days into our relationship. We had 3 dates and I left on a business trip to Hawaii.

That letter contained way too much personal information about his childhood, such as, he was not loved as a child, he was sickly, almost died at the age of 8, was a burden to his already overburdened family (8 sibs) because of his health issues and the medical bills. He also talked about wanting to find that perfect love, the bond he longed for, which he never experienced as a child. It went on to say how after meeting me he was reflecting on "his needs" and how I swept into his life like a warm summers rain. How closely connected he felt to me. How I'd never ask him to be the strong one all of the time. (In retrospect, it all there in black n white. However, I didn't know about the BPD until 4 years later.)

I was a long way from home (Hawaii) and alone on my birthday so at the time I felt it was sweet and thoughtful for him to remember my birthday. However, the letter was just way too revealing, too intimate from someone I had just reconnected with (knew him 30 years prior in high school) just 12 days prior. Major red flags went up, but, being the care taker and rescuer, it successfully drew me into him. He portrayed himself as the "victim" and I was going to save him! Not!

So, here I am 4 years later looking back through BPD glasses and clearly understanding what he did, how he pulled me in, gained my sympathy and manipulated me. When I ended it back in June due to unraveling his lies and cheating, he told me he suffered from BPD. When I asked why he waited 4 years to tell me, he responsoned "I am an exceptionally private person when it comes to my past, I don't like to feel vulnerable. I told you because I caused you so much pain. I think it was about time you know little more. Plus, I love you."

I opened up to him during our 4 years together and revealed the emotional and physical abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother. How I was always looking for love in the wrong places in my teenage years, and again after my dicorce in my 30's. Im now late 40's and have learned a lot about myself through this ordeal. Everything I shared with him was used against me. He accused me of cheating, keeping things from him, etc. I know now of course that he was projecting and he was the one who was cheating.

I loved him with all of my heart. I was loyal and faithful to him. He, or rather his disorder destroyed us, our love and almost me. I likely would have ended up in a padded room if I had stayed with him. I'm 2+ months NC and I have good days and bad days. But, I refuse to let what happened define me, or to give up on love!

[SpringInMyStep]

mine is really big on oversharing. in fact, her online dating profile says she's a rape survivor and she feels like people don't talk about it enough. she will talk about all her personal stuff with almost anyone and it makes them uncomfortable. it's inappropriate. then she'll criticize people (including me!) who want to just have fun, talk about silly things, enjoy themselves. she says they're "shallow" and don't care about the world. she has NO idea that most of us are fully aware of how scary the world is but we choose not to dwell on all those things because life can really be great if you let it. she won't let it. she wants to remain a Professional Victim.