Wouldn't do things to help relationship for 10 years, but does for new guy

[Englishman]

My exBPDgf of 10 years wouldn't quit her busy job that she loved so much for 5 years, could never spend time away from her kids (she stayed at my apartment one night a week) was a little obsessed with food... .and said she loved me to pieces. I would spend a few summer months a year in the UK on business as I have for the last 7 years. This year went a little different! I left April 15th and she cried and kissed me at the airport. By the end of the month she had met her next victim from a dating website. I knew nothing at that point... .she disappeared every weekend and I had an idea something was going on... .I accused her and she swore nothing was happening. By the time I got back in early September... .she had already been living with him for three months... .I found out about him properly in early August... .says she quit her job (but she got severance?) so prob fired, and worst of all she is now barely seeing her two kids, they live with her mom and her sister and she used to live there. The victim she has found is a drug dealer and addict and I'm pretty sure she is now using. She's lost  ton of weight, has given up responsibilities and now won't even see me. We talked a lot on the phone and I am of course painted black and am the worst person ever. The guy is Mr Perfect and she says she wants to marry him! She's now living in a house of 7 people including his 8 months old grandson. She's posting pics on FB about her new family and her own kids are horrified. (14 and 16) She says we are done and I abused her! Says she's very happy with her new guy who respects her! Any of this sound familiar? Will she change her mind maybe... .who knows! She wouldn't quit her job to save our relationship and she could never not be with her kids... .is she using coke? Will the BPD and the coke just make her love this guy (very ugly obvious addict and she's a stunner) Will things change?

[Englishman]

It is tough... .cause I do love her. This was the longest relationship of both of our lives. I've kinda left her every summer for the last 7 years while I spend it in the UK doing work. Not the best thing to do to a BPD but I didn't know about it then. She's here in Southern Cal. Ironically... .she couldn't come with me because of her kids or work! My worry is that all of her relationships last years... .so why would this one end sooner. Says she wants to be friends!

I would take her back under certain provisions including proper therapy.