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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Help What is healthy separation behavior - NC? LC?  (Read 543 times)
Foolishwizdom

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married for 4.5 years, mostly separated the last 1.5 years. Divorced summer 2018; unexpectedly in new relationship & dealing with ghosts of BPD
Posts: 36



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« on: September 17, 2014, 12:30:06 PM »

Preparing to ask dBPDh to leave the home and engage in more intense therapy.  As in, literally gathering up his clothes and setting up my safety plan, and arranging for those who are going to be present for the conversation.

I know that I need to be clear about my boundaries beyond  "you have to leave our shared space."  And I have no idea, I'm not firm on what I should do and starting to panic about that.  I NEED to know before I see him, before FOG kicks in, before tomorrow.

I was thinking once a week. For counseling only?  Counseling and dinner? Not at all?

What is best?   
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