Help What is healthy separation behavior - NC? LC?

[Foolishwizdom]

Preparing to ask dBPDh to leave the home and engage in more intense therapy.  As in, literally gathering up his clothes and setting up my safety plan, and arranging for those who are going to be present for the conversation.

I know that I need to be clear about my boundaries beyond  "you have to leave our shared space."  And I have no idea, I'm not firm on what I should do and starting to panic about that.  I NEED to know before I see him, before FOG kicks in, before tomorrow.

I was thinking once a week. For counseling only?  Counseling and dinner? Not at all?

What is best?